Dear Facebook Girl

It’s me again. I must admit it’s been a while but I hope you are coping through the rapid changing times and even doing well?

It’s necessary I wrote to you after what transpired between us the last time, but nevertheless, I couldn’t get myself to shut me down entirely, without letting you know what’s on my mind and probably how I feel about your demeanor on FACEBOOK.

First of all, I realized, you are no celebrity and have never in the least had any appearance before an organized public, where I could even allude that single incident to a celebrity status. You don’t philosophize and your timeline is readily available to attest to that, yet your friend’s list is more than the privileges FACEBOOK can allow and now you are almost enjoying subscription status and that gives me a cause to worry.

I must be worried because, the last time I checked, you have never studied Photography and have not even mentioned it as a hobby, where people could add you up to acquaint themselves with myriads of picturesque landscapes, trends in vogue, buildings and random images that you might capture on your daily walks of life, yet, your pictures are all over the place as you keep saying ‘thank you’ to the comments they attract.

Furthermore, there are no pictures of Showrooms, galleries of Models and Musicians to watch and no posting of tit-bits from around the world nor have you even shared a hyperlink from the internet, where we could justify your two thousand and counting friends as hanging on for some kind of information, yet, you even have friends that surpass public figure subscription and you want to be taken serious?

I’m yet to think through how posts like “Tonight is gonna be a good night”, “Thank God it’s Friday”, “Who will take me out tonight”, “I’m bored, call me if you have my number”, “I will never trust men again” and lots of similar posts could get you that much number of friends you don’t even interact with, and I’m wondering if you have thought through it yourself to know the basis.

How do they find you? Do they find you on other friend’s wall and if that holds true, the how is it possible, because you are hardly interactive.

Do they come across you in your corner or it’s as a result of your lax settings on your account? I really need to know if you have an iota of reason why they keep flocking in your direction as they extend hands of friendships. 

Even though its human nature to be gregarious and attention seeking, the bad news I have for you is that most ‘serious’ guys do not like to entertain girls that come across as ‘multi-sockets’. They like girls who have fewer friends because logically and practically, it is only merrier when it is few. It is also the only way, they can think of getting some quality time and kind of attention from you.

Additionally, you come across as one desperate girl who doesn’t know what he wants and always gets chosen and probably dumped in the end. You cannot accept all ‘friend request’ simply because you don’t become friends with everyone who bares their teeth to you in real life. Is that being nice or indecisiveness? You really have to wake up and smell the coffee. Get real!

How many do you call and what do you guys talk about? 

I can only admonish you to position yourself well and be mindful that people are watching and anything you do here will be staring in your face in the near future, if not already. Stop the false impression you are trying so hard to create and you just might attract like-minded people into your circle which can eventually bring out the best in you since iron sharpeneth iron.

Finally, you could take off all those sexually suggestive pictures of you from Facebook since being a woman alone is enough to remind men of sex. Stop overdoing things because men will still find you in your obscure corner and give it to you according to your experience, dictates and maybe expectations too.

To this end, I will end my missive here to attend to other pressing matters but I will find time in-between to pay you a visit or probably contact you before I receive your reply.

Take care and live well.

Yours, 

Fo Fovi