The Eighth ball!

I have always been fascinated with the eighth ball because of its uniqueness and all the rules that govern its use. The eighth ball also known as the blackball is well known to folks who play billiard pockets also known as pool, and they can attest to the wonderful nature of the eighth ball.

The ultimate object of the pool session is to legally pocket the eighth ball into a designated pocket (not just any hole) after pocketing the first seven balls without which a game can never be won.  Even though the eighth ball is racked together with the other balls before the break, it is not governed by the same laws that governs the other balls, be it the striped or the solid-coloured balls.

The eighth ball cannot be knocked off intentionally or unintentionally because it results in a loss or a foul for the player; neither can it be pocketed ahead of the other balls. These and other rules make it unique on the field of play.

Are you an eighth ball? Are you different? Do you dare to be different?  Life is too damn short; too damn long to be part of the fray, to be in the queue and be singing the chorus. It is easier singing the chorus because you can mute your voice when it gets to the difficult parts or the parts where you really do not know the words. It is even easier because you could just mime the words and no one will know whether you are making a mistake or social loafing.

Primarily, we live in a society that does not allow us to be an eighth ball, a society that does not allow us to be different, a society that does not allow us to take initiative, lest you are labeled or out casted and relegated to the back for being a deviant or too-knowing. I keep wondering why things are the way they are? Sometimes, I am tempted to ask if my dare to be unique sabotages someone’s progress or existence. Yes, they feel insecure and only feel better when others follow their trail and that is how they feed their ego.  If not, why don’t they mind their businesses while I mind mine since I am still within the legal parameters?

The world is continually trying to conform us to its image; to behave in accordance with prevailing modes and customs whereas we have been admonished in Romans 12:2 “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

Do not let people fit you into their mold because life is too precious and golden to be lived in mediocrity. Unfortunately, many people are trapped in mediocrity, the more reason why they do not dare to be different.

It is time you stop playing games and wearing masks or trying to be someone other than your real self. You need to work at being accepted for whom you are and stop embracing the pull to be like everyone else and that requires courage. Unhappiness and frustration sets in when we lack the courage but to conform and try to be like others. God created you the way you are and privy of all shortcomings for a purpose so just keep your head up.

Pleasing people is one of the easiest things we can ever do, but it ultimately make us unhappy. It is nice to hear all the praise comments which make us feel good about ourselves and that is just okay as long as you do not derive your self-worth from it. People are fickle and so confused for us to place our sense of worth in their opinions. And we do all of these to gain acceptance and approval into their fold. It is time you break away from their manipulations and control.

You can break away and be different by having a dream and continually pursuing it. You can only walk in their shadows if you do not have a dream.  Nurse a dream if you don’t have one because evidently, you have been too busy conforming than doing you. Additionally, start doing what is right and stop doing what is safe by worrying about what people’s expectations of you should be, take a risk so you don’t regret in the near future. Doing what matters to you is a sure way to excellence since you tend to do it with all your heart and passion.

God wants to take us, with all our weaknesses and inabilities, and transform us, by working from the inside out, to do something powerful on this earth. If we're going to overcome insecurities and succeed at being ourselves, we can't continue to be afraid of what everybody else may think. We can't continue to allow others to fit us into their mold. You are different! You are unique! God created you this way to accomplish His purpose here on earth so go ahead and be a wildcard; THE EIGHTH BALL!

Timeline and Technology (T&T)

“I don’t have time!” is a phrase we are too familiar with and have used once too many times in our everyday lives and it’s the stark truth. I can imagine what and how you would have used TIME, if it was under your control, and there you go manipulating it to suit your whims, right?. Certainly, you can’t have time, so forget it.  At most, you can only share in it. No one has control over time; neither can anyone stop it so forget about the doom mongers who want to bring the world to an end in 2012.

Notwithstanding different time zones, there have been different times in ages past, characterized by their own related activities and am pleased to remind and welcome you to the technological age, where reality has been relegated to the background for the total embrace of the virtual world; where people would rather keep to themselves than other people and by the help of their ubiquitous mobile phones and the internet.

In times past, you were considered out-of-sync when you owned a bigger mobile phone that could not go into your pocket, but now it’s what’s in vogue and you tend to wonder how the world thinks. Sometimes, I am tempted to think that the whole world is mad because we all tend to think the same. And if you dare think different, you would need all of your strength and mind to defend the opposition that seeks to query your unique line of thinking and ways of doing things and before you know it, you have aligned yourself to the fray and singing the chorus of the masses.

The mobile phones have been of immense help to our age. It has hastened development globally and in every way by helping us disseminate real-time information. It has averted so many unsavoury and unwanted situations among others, but for every choice, there is a price to pay and this price unfortunately is so grave and fatal.

The mobile phone is a distraction. Distraction to what? To the normal way of life. And what is the normal way of life? Normal way of life must be the basic way of living, devoid of attracting so many materialism into our lives, devoid of perpetually chasing things that are without our grasp. The phone distracts us from work and other serious and important matters; it is that thin line between productivity and activity. Some people browse all through work either because supervision is lax or because they just cannot do without it.

You see a lot of people rushing to their various places of work in the morning with depressed faces and blood-shot eyes because they were probably surfing the internet all night long or talking on the phone at reduced rates or other times free tariffs from their service providers. It is unfortunately so because they have friends in different time zones or because they could not do it during the day. They lack the needed intrinsic motivation to work and usually are not enthused about work except for those who have a regular task or quota to contribute and these groups of people are mostly tired during productive hours or sleeping on the job.

People now drive with one hand controlling the gear and the steering wheel while the other hand clutches the phone and the term it dexterity. The phone has to be handy so as to stay in touch with other people around the world. Stay in-touch, doing what? At the expense of your life? People practically cross the roads with their fingers on the tab of the phones, sending a message or checking one.

Relationships have been sacrificed on the altar of technology. Yes we are interconnected and in touch, but mostly with total strangers; people we are hoping are real, people we hope to meet someday. We no longer chat with friends that are around us because there is a stranger chatting you via an application or a gadget. You go to a party and what you see is everybody’s head buried in their palms fidgeting with their phones with loud music blaring in the background and you tend to ask yourself, what happened to those times when you danced all night long and looked forward to leaving the party grounds with a damsel you have spotted among the crowd?

Take a visit to homes and the scene is so pathetic. The whole family is logged on to the internet via their own choice of gadgets. Some are in front of bigger screens thus computers and some hooked on to their mobile phones and none of them is engaged in any meaningful chat; all of them flirting one way or the other with people miles away; some they are not even sure are real.

Parents are happy their children do not go out anymore, where they will be exposed to other perceived and stereotyped lifestyles from their neighbors, not knowing that, their children are up to their necks in danger by indulging in self-destructive thoughts and activities online waiting to go berserk.

There are other groups of people who do not have the TIME to come and chat all day and night, no! They come and dupe people; make money. For these groups of persons, e.g. the Prostitute, the internet is solely for commerce. It has offered them bigger platforms to solicit for clients and tell you what, it’s booming like hot cake and this makes me want to ask, how does hot cake taste like? All they do is put up erotic photos or even in some instances, presentable photos and you are still game.

Some say its modernity so we should get used to it. Get used to the fact that, students don’t read their books anymore? Get used to the fact that porn sites are triggering in your face all day every day until you visit the site and feed your eyes for a while? Get used to the fact that so many people do not write with a pen on a paper or into their books anymore since they can both type on the computer or their sophisticated gadgets and get them printed in a fleeting moment? We have practically forgotten how the world was some years back before the advent of the technological age and that shows how involved our minds are in this destructive stance.

Many people do not use their minds anymore. There is the calculator, thesaurus, phone book and other applications and inventions that are readily available to aid us. How many phone numbers can you dial off the cuff? How do you reach out to someone when you are distressed and in danger somewhere without your phone since all we do is go to phone book on the menu and scroll down to the desired person we wish to call or just by typing the first letter of the receiver’s name and voila, s/he is on the other side, unless there is a situation?

We used to remember so many phone numbers because we kept phone books and kept punching same numbers overly until it gets etched in our minds. At this pace and rate, I think all of us are endangered because, what happens when the server at the service provider’s office is switched off? The thin line between doom and chaos is just a click away. What if the man manning the server sleeps on duty? What happens when that man presses the off button on an experimental spree? We go to gatherings and our mobile phones are rendered useless because of traffic and pressure on the location and that makes it hard to locate each other let alone pass on information.

Can you even imagine MTN, Vodafone, Expresso, Airtel and other service providers go off for a day like ECG does? I think someone has to save the already lost world because the whole world is plunging into an abyss. It is rightly so, because those who are not inclined will also be dragged along and we need a backup plan as soon as possible.

To wed or not to wed

It has become a trend or a norm and almost becoming compelling for married couples to engage in white weddings or sign court papers so as to bind each other legally just in case the unexpected happens as a result of the uncertain nature of mankind. if people are that unreliable as far as their emotions are concerned and can go off or change at any time, why then do they engage in a potentially endless drama by opting for that choice because i have come to realize that most is not about the marriage and the need for love and that lifetime companionship but are for their own selfish motives, so as to lay claim when the much dreaded situation sets in or to pursue alimony.

I want to believe that it is one of the never failing reasons why most marriages are not working lately, because the couples misbehave or do otherwise knowing they are legally bounded in a 'life and death' situation with their willing partners. It beats me why the law has to compel us to love when it's purely dependent on emotions and commonsense. The question i want to ask is, is the white wedding working even with the law in tow? 

I asked because it is has been observed that it is doing more harm than good to most newly wedded couples, in that, they get frustrated after going through what it takes to organize a white wedding of a sort. It takes so long a time for so many to regain their feet as they get so indebted to their sponsors, under whose auspices the wedding took place.

Some also are not able to deal with the psychological trauma or stress that comes with it and finally give in to the dictates of their mind; yes they become abnormal and in worst cases, become mad.

White wedding is so classy and colourful but is it worth what we go through to be named one of those? It has a story behind it and that story is, it's mostly suited for the westerners and does not perfectly fit for our culture because of the things we place our values on or what we deem appropriate.

All i am trying to say is that people have to be in love to marry, they must not be baited by whited weddings to lure them into something they are not really keen on just because they want to be hailed and cheered by their friends. You've got to be cut for it; you've got to do it because you can do it, not because you have to do it. That will be on the defensive and your nemesis will come calling soon after the guests are gone home and some of the chairs and tables broken on the lawn and paper packs scattered all over and if you were lucky, you would have been chauffeured out of the place on your way to your honeymoon.

In our society, it is evident that it is the ladies that force their men to wed them at the expense of our cherished and outstanding traditional marriage and at all cost. And sometimes, i wonder what it is with some of the men, they lack commonsense that they cannot tell that they cannot afford what the lady is asking for and reasonably talk her into something they both can afford and allows themselves to be led to the slaughter house. These white weddings have made it impossible for potentially suitable couples to marry thus going their separate ways only to give in to the one who can afford.

Unfortunately, it does not end with them, they go out there and pollute the minds of those who care to listen to their tales about how all men are not good and are the real devil incarnate and on the other hand, how all women should be killed under the sun. They make love look evil, they swear not to love again when they have never really loved before.

Let's access our capacity in terms of finance, psychology, maturity, simplicity and make choices within our means so as to limit the ripple effects of our bad choices and to help us enjoy happy marriage lives. Society has to let us know that it’s solely a matter of choice and not compulsory for everyone, the yet-to-marry and the yet-to-be married should also know that their choice remains theirs and not what people are going to think about them. Just be yourself!