Thursday, 24 July 2014

When the Sun sets...

Ever since you went out of my life giving me my much needed but unwanted freedom, things have never been the same again. I may not know what I want but I am sure that I don’t want peace of mind. There has been a palpable air of calm around me which is killing me by the minutes. 

I leave things around only to come back to find them there…

My choice of food has been limited because I can’t go about thinking menus I am not willing to and can’t prepare and you know how much I dislike eating outside.

I admit I never went out with you on so many occasions but I was always hopeful of coming home to you. I always knew drama will brew from your ever creative mind; be it a delight to behold or a dismal eyesore. The tension in the air when we mount our bed, only for it to eventually dissipate into thin air as we dip fingers into each other’s skin in an effort to please and be pleased. The magical love sessions that follow after these tense moments which has become a recipe to giving it our all and how it became a norm is all I’ve missed.

Perfect takes so much time and doesn’t work. In extreme situations, it even feels like a compulsion; a quest to changing the you I met and loved, the you that gave me a chance at companionship and love. 

Why is it very difficult to know people’s worth ahead of time while we still have them? I miss you so much.  

Nothing much has changed about me except that I hardly make use of the freedom I craved for. I no longer go out even though I don’t have to sneak out. I no longer go after other ladies even though it was a delight cheating on you. Maybe having them doesn’t come with the thrill anymore and I miss the escapades and the adrenaline that rushes when you confront me. 

Like I told you the night you slammed the door behind you and in my face, I won’t be dating any
longer in anticipation that you will walk back into my life again. I believed in you and miracles until that fateful night. The slaps and battering you meted out to me and the drama that erupted afterwards just took me by surprise and has ever since left me in shock but I am willing to believe in you once again. You are human, so let’s just say you erred by not giving your actions a thought.

I don’t want perfect, I want you. I want your incorrigible imperfect self. There is too much calm in my life which sometimes makes me feel like my life has been staged. Nothing makes sense anymore. Truth is I can’t seem to believe that you have also become one of life’s evanescence – because you were real.

You said I made you cry…

 But, no! You just stopped loving me because I know you cry for him too…

What is love if it does not thrive on pain?

Incidentally, I have also tried to move on from where you left me, but sadly memories will not leave me. They follow me everywhere, and I mean the ominous lurking bitch lingers everywhere I go and even lives with me.  You lied to me because you asked me to believe you. You even asked me to believe in you. You became my religion and literally made me worship you. You said we were always going to be here. You even said forever and this; I can’t distinguish any further because like I said, nothing makes sense anymore. All I know is both transcends into time.

If only I knew your time was bound…

Thoughts of your giving self in another man’s arms and your giggles that used to warm my heart… 

However, I’d like to categorically state that this communiqué is not a call to commune. It is just to serve as a reminder that you betrayed what we had that night you walked away. It is also to serve as a notice that I might be popping in from time to time to find out if you have finally found the happyness you set out to find.

I could say more but damn the present. I have to go now. 

Take care of yourself.

Jinni.

The Writer tweets @vilejah

Tuesday, 15 July 2014

I need Jesus...

I need me Jesus, a WiFi and a stocked fridge with everything I might need to get going to be able to fulfill the scriptures. Jesus to aid my salvation, WiFi to watch movies, chat and surf the internet unend and food as a basic need and I will just be fine. I don’t know about you but going through each day is an arduous task for me. The kind of bs I have to put up with by virtue of the role I play as a family, a friend, a colleague and a member of the community I find myself in, at any given time. The need to guide my mind against that of others, when to discard or hold on to an existing knowledge or a piece of information and the need to keep my mind open or close at alternate times can be debilitating but I still thrive because the pain has become the reason to love.

Jesus died painfully on the cross because he loves us. Wait! Is it Jesus Christ who loves us or it is his Father, God, who does? Maybe, both of them love us. But where do I place the Holy Ghost? Maybe all of them do hence the conspiracy to sacrifice Jesus for our sake. And all of these add up to the pain I mentioned in the earlier paragraph. Nothing makes sense anymore and it hurts to know that. Maybe it’s information overload which is fine by me because I can’t even allow myself to be labeled a basket case.

They claim it’s a free world and I can be anything I want to be but I dare not because I live in an institutionalized society where stereotyping is our stock-in-trade. We are supposed to go to the Mosque on Fridays, attend church through Saturday to Sunday even though some denominations have taken it a notch further. We also attend school from Monday to Friday, vote at a given time, expected to marry and become a parent at a certain time and many other expectations which have timelines even against the back drop of what I want to be. 

According to the law of consequence which is in harmony with the world and by extension, order, a man reaps what he sows making everyone responsible for their own actions and inactions. But in another vein, Jesus Christ came to die to redeem and salvage all of us from our sinful ways and this right here contradicts the law of nature. Now my dilemma is should I just walk about expecting to reap what I sow, or be rest assured that Jesus’ death has already solved every thing? How can one person die to cleanse our sins when we are supposed to actually be responsible for our individual transgressions? Unless two analogies transits or comfortably fits into each other, one is discarded - leaving behind the one with the near precision so right here, we have to discard one of the theories which to me is another cul-de-sac.

Would it not be consistent with the laws of nature, nobler and responsible of us if we account for our lives rather than hiding in the shadows of Jesus Christ of Nazareth? Maybe, I am lost for wanting to know what Jesus’ death has got to do with this but again we were told in his own words that "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." So I don’t understand why Christians think Jesus came for everyone or everyone must go to the Father only through him who is the light of the world.

In Jesus own words, it is not everyone who needs him. Hence he did not come for everyone but those lagging behind which also means there are people in the forefront who are already doing well. So why do his followers think otherwise? Again he has admonished us not to be judgmental but our zealousness makes us assume his role as the judge when they should be working their salvation with trembling and fear. It is common for Christians to condemn other religions even though that is not their preserve.

Contrary to the popular opinion to what Jesus should look like, I saw one portrait of Jesus Christ looking like a rock artist wielding a goatee as he was been baptized and all I could mutter was anokwa. Christian’s inability to understand the nuances of Christianity has made it a ridicule and all of these sometimes makes Christianity appear to me like a child’s play. For instance, Christians do not believe in reincarnation because it is supposed to be a traditional belief yet they will preach to you about Jesus Christ’s resurrection and are even looking forward to die and meet him in Paradise and I just do not know what to believe anymore.

It is the contradictions and differences in ideologies and doctrines that have given birth to so many denominations in the realm of Christendom. There is no consensus as to what is right and no sense of unity among Christians so how do they expect to bring other religions into their fray? 

It is even pathetic how you are condemned when you ask in-depth and mind-boggling issues concerning the Christian faith and because I have become weary and sick from all this hot air, I have decided to forget about all these people and the related protocols to seek the Boss himself – the only reason why I need me Jesus.

The writer tweets @vilejah


Wednesday, 9 July 2014

The Undefined



After waiting for what seemed like forever, I was ushered into the spacious makeshift office that has been converted into a conference room for the purposes of the Interview that was underway. As would have been expected, I quickly observed the setup in the room. Three good looking gentlemen graced by two gorgeous women seated in-between in a semi circle fashion and were all dressed up in immaculate clothes as though the interview was about them. They were keenly observing me to probably find ways to end this session very early but I didn’t mind.

I looked beyond the one looking like God himself and saw at the far right a nice looking Coffee dispenser with some fanciful paper cups. At once, I knew I was going to sip some of whatever content that dispenser was housing. But Just before I could look around enough to acquaint myself, I was asked to have a seat to which I politely responded to with a thank you.

“We apologize for not starting on time, shall we begin now?”

“Yes please”

“Who are you?” 

“I am still working on it”

“Did you hear me right, Sir?”

“Yes, I did, Sir”

“So now, tell us who you are”

“Please, can I have some of that Coffee” I requested like a boss with a satisfied grin as they exchanged unpleasant looks.

What were they expecting me to say? 

 “Alright, where do you see yourself in five years?”

“Germany”

“I mean career wise”

“I just want to be in a position where I can help many people achieve their dreams and be useful everywhere I find myself” 

And even before we could start talking about my competence and eligibility for the job and position at stake, I knew right there and then that there was no work for me. The look on their faces confirmed to me that I was not in character and was so convinced these people had written me off. Nevertheless, one of them took a particular interest and liking to me and it was at this juncture he also ordered for a cup of the sweet coffee I was already sipping.


Dear Reader, at this juncture I pray do tell if you have any idea which answer will cut out, make me humble and eligible to the panel that has the power to change my stale career? 

Candidly, I appear foolish or rude when I am asked that question because I have grown tired of reciting my credentials as a Manager, a Systems Administrator, a Strategist, a Blogger et al. I don’t know if these attributes have actually ceased making me feel good but I am tired of trying to fit in with all these labels.

I can’t tell if I have just become ignorant or arrogant but the truth is I really don’t know what I am going to be in five years time and cannot be sure any longer. I have been planning myself into roles for God knows how long but none of what I am is what I have planned. Maybe, I did not pursue them enough or reality has its own rules. 

I realized I have been living a life of illusion my whole life, otherwise, how can a poor boy from the slums in Maamobi choose to be a Pilot even at age two? And interestingly through the years, I have been one thing or the other. I have been a Doctor, an Engineer, a Sailor and everything but an employed and a hustler. Now, I am just that random guy who wants to get by and as to why I have not given up yet is because the illusion keeps getting real.  Going through everyday believing in make believe. 

They say the world is a stage where men and women are supposed to be actors but interestingly, a
closer look at our lives depict otherwise. It reveals that most of us are only re-acting the act of others rather than acting. We don’t even have a storyline of our own let alone try to play the hero in the said story. It is good to admire and look up to people but it is important to note that each and everyone is telling a story that is so different from the other and must stick to their storyline, especially if they want to be heroes.

A hero can only exist in their own story.  Acting a hero in another's story requires you to overly read a script to acquaint yourself with a dreamlike character which is just like living the adulations of a hero who existed in his own story. To really act, a character must not be defined to play a role. A character needs to be undefined so that they can be anything they so wish in the story. They can choose to be the President, a Manager, a Golfer, a Banker, A pilot because it is their story and are the undefined characters trying to define themselves per their whims whereas the defined characters who perhaps have taken up a role cannot choose to be what they want because they may end up altering the carefully written script.

To act is to live by your own standards while re-acting is living by the standards of others. When you live by your standards which only comes from knowing your worth and do not allow yourself to be a walk over, you eventually become known for the things you stand for which incidentally becomes a storyline for those who dare not walk through their own storyline – the re-actors. The re-actors try to enact the storyline or the life of people they call heroes and just like any good actor; they allow themselves to daydream into a defined character by overly reading the scripts until the script begins to work on them - way before they even work on the script. 
 
Day in and day out, I am almost getting convinced that I am no more cut for the corporate world. Aside the prospects, I am no more willing to work with so many people especially where roles would have to be assigned and overly supervised. Maybe, I am dementing but I have come to realize that I am more willing to live a day at a time rather than a life of thorough planning and trying to fit in. I want to be the hero, the writer, the teller, the plot – just everything about the story. And even though this is conflicting, I have also come to realize that no hero was ever made without overcoming conflicts. 

When people do not follow conventions, cramp their identity and self-esteem to fit in, go about their activities with an air of audacity and conviction and do not go about seeking people’s approval to validate their existence, they are labeled as too-knowing, but who am I really?

I am a work in progress and still working on me.

I am anything. Everything.

I am Undefined!

**


The writer tweets @vilejah 

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

Black Stars to be dissolved

To whom it may Concern...

The Black stars have finally ended their 2014 world cup campaign in far away Brazil and are rumored to have nicodemously sneaked into town minus two players who were relieved of their duty just some hours before their historic and dramatic defeat to the Portugal team. We all saw how they fared at the Mundial and have also come to realize that our fortunes as a footballing Country has further dwindled from a one goal project to a one point project.

Events leading to their early exit cannot be overly stressed because we all know the mockery they have exposed us to from the foreign media and anyone to whom it concerns. But going forward, it is imperative to put the various happenings into perspective in a bid to averting some of them in the near future hence this piece.

Sadly though, but I must say that it was a gamble making Dr. Kwasi Appiah the Manager of the Black Stars because until now he has not brought anything new to the team and if you think I am just being cynical, then kindly indulge me on his achievements . This is rightfully so because those who spoke for his consideration did not even articulate his credentials and related exploits as a Manager, but rather their argument was based on the fact that he was a Ghanaian and should be given the job as though we were forming a National Assembly where the prerequisite of being a Ghanaian qualifies you automatically. No, we want someone who has a proven track record to deliver even if he is an Eskimo - one of the very reasons his predecessor Milovan Rajevac was sacked. 

The plain truth is, the Manager is tactically incompetent and lacks the creative mind for contingencies. Aside his mis-man-agement and lack of leadership, he does not prove his resilience in the face of odds and also fails to be creative when the odds change. He is mostly at a lost and only seems to be running on luck. However, it is important to note without mincing words that, some things can be discovered on one’s own accord on the job while some of them must be taught - simply because it’s a Science. They follow a rigorous routine such that any haphazard approach cannot get you results.

A case in point is the Ghana – USA match where the Coach applied his voodoo tactics, which he
even confirmed in his post match interview. He said he was waiting for his opponents to get tired before he unleash his winning strategy which included some of the changes he effected. And for a handler to say he was waiting for his opponents to get tired before bringing on some of his best marksmen means he lacked purpose. How well do you know your opponents to count on their strengths instead of counting on yours? This is the world cup and you play to win right from the get go.

A Coach worth his salt should make effective changes that would see a switch in play. For instance, you don’t necessarily bring on an 8 simply because you changed an 8. Sometimes, you bring on another 10 to strengthen the 10 you already have thus creating a vacuum at the 8, meaning a new style has been adopted. But instead, it appeared Dr. Appiah was only making changes for the purposes of replacing his men just to satisfy the 3-man changes FIFA allows in a Football match. 

Then, there was the issue of Indiscipline in the camp where the players protested not to train and other events which ended up in players and Management having a fisticuff. What could ever go wrong in a camp that was supposed to be filled with oneness of purpose, esprit de corps and conviviality? Have you also noticed that disciplinary issues have clouted the Dr’s stewardship since day one? Clearly, somebody has failed his part of the bargain which led to the expulsion of the two key players the Black Stars have had in recent times and I am convinced beyond doubt that Sulley Muntari and K.P. Boateng were just used as collateral damages. Yes! And in its worse terms, scapegoats! 

I have always maintained that for the purposes of winning, competence should paramount as long as everybody is playing their roles effectively, which in turn erodes situations of (in)discipline. I do not think that Managers just by virtue of their positions are the repository of knowledge and should not be questioned for further clarifications in instances where a subordinate is not at ease. That way, we would be building demigods and self-acclaimed gangsters who would lead us into ditches simply because their words are law. A decree that needs no further questioning.

But, granted there was gross indiscipline which warrants their expulsion, by now, we all can attest to the fact that the timing was wrong even though the diehards and aficionados still think it was necessary. It is not prudent for a Management to send off two key players from their squad just some few hours to a must-win match and still expects to win. They might have underrated their opponents which will be sadder because no good sportsman does that. It is not about the fact that they couldn’t play without them but about the fact that they were disintegrating the rest of the team. They divided the house against each other and killed team spirit in the Process. They demoralized a whole team by stamping their authority at the wrong time due to lack of knowledge and rightfully so because a little knowledge of Jurisprudence by these management members who thought it wise to sack these two players just some hours before a battle, would have given them insight into the fact that Justice delayed is not justice denied. 

Now, their ego has come in the way. Their need to be respected has denied us of the historic feat and has denied the rest of the 25 million and counting Ghanaians scattered all over the world the kind of joy we derive when we win.
 
There was also the issue of the Black Stars holding us to ransom, claiming to be paid their appearance fees before they train which did not sit well with all Ghanaians home and abroad. The FA for whatever reasons delayed payment to the Black Stars even though our tax monies have long been deducted at source for such purposes, but, we would have thought that the Black Stars were at the world cup out of patriotism and to exhibit themselves as one of the players to celebrate at the biggest Football event. They have made us aware of their intent and all we can do as a nation which has to be taken serious is to dissolve the team and raise the bar. If we can pay them this much of the tax payer’s money to lose, then we must look out for cheap players to do that honorably and still save us some money for the provision of potable water, eradicating Schools under Mango trees, building homes for the aged, researching into better and vibrant educational curricula and what have you.

The players also lacked purpose. They made it very glaring to all and sundry that they were about the money and not the competition. It was also interesting to note that, they were not about the wins but fact that they have appeared at the Mundial, hence their readiness to give up everything at stake for the appearance fees. Deductively, it means they had even forgotten that it was about Ghana and not just about their personal gains. Clearly, they sacrificed the objectives of Corporate Ghana at the expense of their selfish ends and should go now!

It is however sad to note on the other side that, for the Black Stars to demand the monies due them before any further national assignment also means that there have been exploits in the past and they were not willing to take chances. Thanks to the expose, this Management must be investigated and if found culpable, let’s overhaul or dissolve it altogether. Just as shareholders do not retain non-performing Board members, we have to become businesslike as a nation to sack members and Officials of the FA because they have been non-performing. It is time to show us something for all the monies paid to fund their activities all these years.

I do not even want to delve into the kind of arrangements that saw a $3.5million airlifted via a chartered flight to the Players in Brazil, a clear indication that the government can and may have been engaged in airlifting cash out of the Country. That is more political and would be discussed on a different day at a different time.

Last but not the least why we as citizens should clamor for the dissolution of the Black Stars; first from the Ghana Football Association, is the match fixing scandal involving the President of the FA, Mr. Kwasi Nyantakyi. We can’t afford to have an FA who is willing to fix matches when they should be pushing and working hard on winning on merits. It is even convenient to say that the timing of the release of the footage also casted a psychological slur on the players which eventually affected their team spirit and work output. 

And to this end, if the Management can sack two players even when their presence was crucial to the team’s progress in the ongoing World Cup, then sorry to burst their bubbles, they have all exhibited one form or the other of indiscipline and must all go now!

Nuff Said!

Disappointed Ghanaian Fans.

the writer tweets @vilejah