Eyegasm

Why do you close your eyes when romancing or making love? Do you consciously close your eyes because it’s time for sex or it just happens subconsciously? Are you guilty of closing your eyes during sexual intercourse or it just happen unawares? Have you ever wondered why the closing of the eyes comes naturally to us, as if on cue, and if not, why not?

Perhaps, that’s how we’ve been conditioned to function; which is to close our eyes because we are about to get filthy or enjoy ourselves and must not be privy to what we are about to engage in. After all, it is our limbs and other sex organs that get active in the process. Alternatively, it could also be that, the session or the thought of romance alone is enough to engulf our senses thus overwhelming and influencing our eyes to close entirely and instantly.

The eye is an important communicator when it comes to non-verbal and visual communication and has so many proverbs and anecdotes alluding to that fact, among which are “the eyes are the windows to the soul”, “What the eye does not admire the heart does not desire." and “The eye sees a thing more clearly in dreams than the imagination awake”, because it conveys our inner feelings to others. Our eyes captivate and express our thoughts or what words can’t say. Sometimes, the sincerity of our eyes which we are usually unaware of even helps sinks our words in very well. 

Eye contacts are very essential in communication because lack of it portrays one as not forthcoming and a tell-tale kind of person who shouldn’t be taken serious or in other words, liars avoid eye contact. Avoiding eye contacts readily explains your concealing nature or your lack of interest in the context. Additionally, emotions, such as anger, happiness, and dissatisfaction can all be easily delivered through the eyes, as they are the mirrors of the soul. If eyes do not convey a lot, why do we see beauty, joy, evil or that eerie blank stare in the eyes of people?

If admittedly, all of the foregone conclusion stands true, why then would couples close their eyes at that very intimate and intense moment, when their eyes could have expressed something to either deepen the love making session or otherwise mar it? Why do we close the windows to our soul thus barring communication? Are we liars? Have we been lying to the very ones we profess love and make love to by closing our eyes? I doubt, but I’m afraid it stands so for now.

Truly, maintaining eye-contact during sexual intercourse can be awkward; it can even inhibit sexual and bodily expression from both partners, so to avoid that, we close our eyes so we could be in our own world. “….our own world?” did I just say that? Wow! And I was always here, thinking that, it was about the two people engaged in the session, so why the need to enter into a world of our own? What do we do in that world of our own that makes the session Grande? Funny!

Couples close their eyes subconsciously only to fantasize. Yes, they fantasize subconsciously, meaning, we go into our memories and stage the act in various ways and sometimes with various people, while we are still sweating beneath the sheets or in the sofa with a different person. We conjure so many mental images just to enhance the feeling that comes with it. Some of these images are carried from our past sex lives, scenes from movies, magazines, discussions we’ve engaged in. Even though, fantasies are supposed to be entertained in the absence of action or when you are extremely bored, we’ve been subconsciously engaging in it even while active and that’s revealing.

So who and what do we fantasize about when we get into our own world? Does what we think about amount to unfaithfulness or cheating on a spouse? Then tell me which word best describes a man named Alex who fantasizes about Ama while having sex with Agnes? No wonder we close our eyes to avoid conveying our thoughts, probably full of lies.

I know a lot of couples or people actively engaged in sex belong to the school of thought that is cool with any means that will make them orgasm but it’s time they become a little liberal by opening the windows to their soul by looking and fantasizing with their partner, while they express their desire and feeling towards each other. They should stop lying to each other by making eye contact to be able to communicate whatsoever feeling there-is as they fantasize about each other until they both ‘Eyegasm’, where Eyegasm may be described as a deep and constant eye contact that leads to climaxing.

The rise of the machines

I don’t know about you but the part of the world that I live in is becoming dangerous and I shudder to think about what is next. We are being played by some bigger heads and all they do is to move the motion and we start hurting ourselves. We become the victims in the long run; forlorn and scathed even before we are done and dusted with.

We live in a drone world where machines are being designed to replace humans, because humans are fallible, untrustworthy, and unreliable and ages with time, which affects his movements and efficiency. Humans are higher creatures with fully fledged thinking capabilities that alters their emotions thus their behavior. Humans enjoy diminishing marginal utility in every aspect of their lives, so a few people decided to save the world by substituting humans with robots. Robots that will be programmed to carry out specific tasks, devoid of emotions to increase reliability and efficiency. The idea is that, once the robot is highly maintained and all parts oiled, it should work according to expectation because they come with monitoring tools or counters. Nothing more, nothing less and all you require is the instructions manual and a Remote Controller

My first encounter with robots was during my childhood, when Ghana Television (GTV) used to air a Science fiction series titled ‘Dr. Who’, even before the latter days ‘Terminator’ and ‘Robocop’ came into being. All these robots were programmed to do one thing, which is to destroy or defend, and were invented and kept by a group of powerful people vested under the guise of multi-million dollar Companies. But now, the kind of drones that are invented and being manufactured on daily basis only makes you ask, “Where are we going with this?”

Technology has advanced and the dynamics of economics is now favorable with the changing times and the making of these machines have now taken a human face. These machines are very helpful and in most cases, things we badly need and they come in neat packages. They make you feel like they are the panacea to all your problems and they come handy all the time. 

The introduction of computers into the work environment has seen to it that a good number of workers have been redeployed because of redundancy. The Computer has laid off the store-keeper who arranges the ‘IN’ and ‘OUT’ files all day, every day, just because the simple creation of folders have emerged. The Postman has also been laid off, with the emergence of the e-mail. It has laid off the Security man in some instances because a drone ‘eye’ (CCTV) that will not sleep, is watching and even recording activities in the premises for later access. A good number of replacements have taken place which has changed the arduous ways we go through to complete a task such as a blender, microwave, massager rice cooker and many more.

With all the evidences surrounding us and the many more potentials out there, it is convincing to say these machines have come to stay and It now behooves man to compete with machines that are charged, machines whose lives are sustained on cells and I don’t know how we, as a race are working on catching up with these emotionless machines that are programmed to function, machines that have no beliefs, no aspirations, no spiritual inclinations and no values nor moral obligations.They have changed our way of lives which includes the way we communicate. These machines have altered our inputs and expectations and have replaced some of our processes of doing things but it is even sad and more disturbing if you are replaced by machine at work and at home. Most people find themselves in that situation and the rate, at which the number is increasing, is alarming.

What will go through the mind of a man when he realizes that her wife/girlfriend has replaced him in the bedroom with a vibrator or pocket pussy that can be whipped out anywhere? We are already having sleepless nights competing with machines in the outside world. Men are mostly overworking to keep up with these machines and losing energy faster than they ever thought and I am sure that every sane person will suddenly go insane, at least for a while, should they find out that, they need to put up extra work in the bedroom department too. How possible! Those machines never get tired, they are even faster and getting more sophisticated by the day just to satisfy our insatiable desires and complex minds.

These machines go all the way until a ‘normal’ woman orgasm, which is usually not attainable by man on regular basis. You are even doomed if the machine made her orgasm in a very special way than you have ever done to her because orgasm is not definite, at least, the reliability of the machine is bound to always take her beyond the cloud nine we have come to agree on, as the threshold. 

Vibrators, Dildos, G-Spot wands, suction cups, Penile toys, penetrative toys and other sex toys out there simulates even more than humans and are breaking a number of marriages, relationships and families than is being manufactured. Hitherto, men and women used to be the standard, but the rise of the machines has rendered them as Placebos which is not so good. You are even tempted to ask what is the motivation behind this trend and why would a straight thinking person always want to climax to the max? Why can’t that fellow strive to perfect other aspects of his or her life?

When men replace women with hyper-realistic dolls that doesn’t express feelings nor talk back but satisfies them sexually, and women buying artificial hymen that comes with blood to deceive the partner that, they are still virgins, then you will know that the world is full of virtual reality; deceit. These machines were supposed to help or in some instances, compliment our effort but we seem to have had different uses for them and are now making them substitute our efforts.

I thought our re-defined modernity and civilization was going to help us but it has turned out to be something most of us have not envisaged and I can tell that, it will eat us up until the last man surrenders. Every one of us have one machine or the other that has taken over the duties and roles a person used to play and gradually, we will be surrounded by machines that will also start fighting for their rights and responsibilities. We have created monsters that will eventually kill us directly and indirectly and finally take over our world.

I don’t want to live in a machine world; I don’t want all these virtual reality because they lack the emotional and sensitivity interplay that takes place between two individuals. I don’t want to live in a world full of robots because the shift in paradigm is so acute from God’s divine plan. I don’t want to live in such a world where my partner will not have empathy on me by taking my situation into perspective.

Apart from other reasons that influence people to acquire these sex toys, partners also agree to introduce it into their relationship to avoid each other from cheating. How convenient! It takes more than sex for a person to cheat in a relationship so save us that sermon. And while we are caught up in the euphoria, let us be mindful, as to which human roles we want to eliminate in our lives, because it is just the beginning of the RISE OF THE MACHINES.

Forget the Show!

Why are people so fixated on shows? Why does Society beam on it like it is all there is to it? Perhaps, it explains why some people go about perpetually performing in their minds. Yes, they create an imaginary audience and continually perform to their pleasure and amazement. But, Given that, some people have taken to a non-stop performance, what time do they take a break to rehearse?  Do they keep perfecting their act, while performing?  

Every actor or actress worth its salt knows the essence of rehearsals, which is also known as training in some circles. Rehearsals are essential because, it gives you ample time to learn and master your act. It enables the act to become a second nature of the performer. It changes you because you tend to live what you do or been rehearsing on; that is why a civilian is trained to become a part of the military and that fellow lives like a military person all his life, just as our predispositions to an endeavor alters our persona and we become what we spend our time doing most.

When you overly train for an event or a performance, energy and confidence oozes out of your system like water does from a fountain. You are assured by your series of rehearsals, and you know that all other things being equal, you will put up a good performance to warm the heart of your audience and possibly make a date with them in the near future. Depending on your level of performance, you become the talk of the circle you find yourself in and I know most of us like being talked about in a positive way though. 

Apart from certain rehearsal activities that take place in the open air, most rehearsals are held indoors or far away from prying eyes. It takes place far away from those who will not necessarily add anything up at that stage of the process, and in your life as an actor or actress looking forward to a performance. The rehearsal is a necessity for the performance. That thirty minute show of a lifetime you’ve been looking forward to all these years is hinged on your rehearsal; the sum total of you at every given time.

 Rehearsing can be fun, but it’s dependent on so many factors among which are, your levels of commitment, with regards to how much stake you have in the benefits to be derived, should those rehearsal sessions bring some returns and the task involved in the session. A rehearsal session gives you an air of freedom, flexibility, space and time to try your act in so many ways until satisfaction is derived. It allows you to commit all the mistakes there are, just for you to find that one of two ways that works well. That satisfied feeling that makes you declare with conviction that, “I’m ready”.

Conversely, if you know a little about shows or events, then you should concur with me that, shows don’t last. Shows are event, and they come to an end, while rehearsals become a way of life. Even an hour programme takes so many days to organize and that should tell you what goes into events. Go to a military base such as Burma Camp and ask them how many have really fought in a war before. Ask the musicians how many gigs they play in a year or even in their career lifetime. I guess your three hour examinations you write at the end of a three month semester is enough to nullifies the fact that, shows are actually organized and publicized by a group of people who have a stake in the event. For some, shows only happen once in their lifetime and for some, none, while others become regular performers and the rule is simple: all other things held constant, intense rehearsal is equal to more shows, Period!

Now, if the aforesaid hold true, then what it means is, most of us don’t have time-off from our performing acts to even rehearse, and that practically means, we are kind of clowning on stage unawares and the only time we are off-stage is when we make it to bed. How pathetic! Who says people want to sit through a painful three or more hours show anyway? So why then do you think they have not given up on your gimmick yet?

If you have not been performing to an imaginary audience, why then do you always think of what people are thinking of you? Why do you think, you are always being watched? Why do you find it difficult to try new things if you don’t have that feeling of being laughed at by that audience you have created in your mind? 

I have realized in life that, the only way you can be happy about the life you live is, wanting to do something and doing it passionately. Doing something passionately without thinking about people’s opinions about you, especially the negative ones is one of the surest ways you can break from the shackles of society that binds everyone to tow the straight line which renders us tumbling over each other like red ants when they could have expanded their crawl-way.

If you attribute your work or school attitude into your life, you will realize that most of the life you live is a rehearsal session. Only a few part of our time is dedicated to shows where we get to perform. And once you realize that, you will begin to live freely without thinking of what people think of you, you just might walk off-stage where you wouldn’t be compelled to please the audience. You just might be flexible and accept all the ways that comes to you without pressure, with the hindsight that, you are in a rehearsal session and doing what you got to do, because, you are the only one with the big picture. Sometimes people must be prodded and in some cases, motivated, but it still stands out in many cases that only you know your capabilities and abilities. Only you can give approval of yourself.

Forget the show and get off stage. Rehearse/Learn the new trends, maintain the old ones that are worth maintaining or where necessary, fall on your ingenuity to modify them. Feel free, go backstage and build confidence which comes with ease and flair in delivery. You are not under duress to please anyone during rehearsal sessions. You take a break or forfeit rehearsals anytime you want and that’s how life should be. We shouldn’t always feel under the spotlight with audiences seated comfortably in the wings. Do what you have to do, you are the artiste/actor/actress and anything you churn out to your audience would have become the newest style. Just be confident and relaxed in your delivery. Be mindful that good artistes put in a lot of work that guarantees them smooth performances. Everything is accepted during rehearsals and rehearsals, thus readiness, guarantees you a slot on the show so concentrate on your rehearsals and FORGET THE SHOW!

AFCON2013; A test case for Kwesi Appiah

Opinions are like noses and I can only be grateful for having one, and a platform to express it. In the heat up to the commencement of the African Cup of Nations dubbed AFCON2013 in South Africa, and as was expected from any participating team, Ghana’s Coach Mr. Kwesi Appiah, while on a training tour in Dubai with the team, had to submit his twenty-three man squad to the footballing authorities in charge of the tournament and so was compelled under the circumstances to submit names of only disciplined players that were deemed fit as fiddles in the east which saw Andre Dede Ayew axed out of the Black Stars squad.

The news of his exclusion was welcomed with mixed feelings from a larger section of Ghanaians because it had caught many off-guard.  There was nothing one could do since the explanation that saw the hard working chap ousted from the team, was one that paramounts over any individual’s problem or expectations. Personally, I couldn’t say anything about the incident because I was downhearted and sad, coupled with the back and forth explanation from the Coach and the player involved making it difficult for anyone to draw the line. 

Black Stars have been hit with indiscipline in the past, where some individuals in the team were given preference over others and how some of them were favorited above others, so most of us had to rescind to fate and hope that something good comes out because the team will not and could not be centered on one person. 

So it came to pass that, Ghana’s Coach, Kwesi Appiah went into the tournament with players that are disciplined and all fit, as certified by the team Doctors. These players reported to the camp as soon as they were summoned and then went into a few friendlies which saw the team emerging victorious thus raising our hopes and expectations, come the real AFCON2013 Tournament. 

However, the first match of the Black Stars was nothing worth writing home about, except we scored two goals that were equalized in the second half of the game. The manager of the team in his immaculate black suit and white shirt, with a flying tie to match, appeared clueless as he stood on the touchlines with a pessimistic demeanor. He was hoping the team emerged the winner of the match just like any other person, which got me worried as a citizen of Ghana who has an equal say just like any other person.

It is understandable if observers appear worried and hopeless about the team’s capability and its dependent results, but for a Manager to also appear worried and hopeless gives me a cause to worry. He is the master tactician and under normal circumstances, where all other things are held constant, he should be able to determine what is to be expected from his boys. He is expected to be the epitome of optimism the nation will cling on to, but all I saw was a trying man trying to hang in there with his trying team till the stipulated ninety minutes is done and over with.

Some people think it is too early yet to start analyzing or criticizing him but I’m wondering if they actually want us to wait till the tournament is over, by which time we would have lost all we could have redeemed. Wars are won by winning each battle along the way so it is prudent to play each match at a time since it’s all a build-up to lifting the coveted trophy and rightfully so, we only want to take each day at a time. 

I don’t know who would have sufficed but he made his first bad decision when he chose to make Ghana’s international, Asamoah Gyan, the Captain of the team and John Mensah also known as the Rock of Gibraltar, the General Captain. I am no football enthusiast so I would at this time allow someone to indulge me on the differences between a Captain and a General Captain and their respective roles they play in a team. Methinks, Captainship goes beyond the number of years you’ve been playing for the team and the number of goals you score in a league that is unknown and at most not competitive.

A captain at every point in time should be the one the team will rally around, which requires him to always be intrinsically motivated which will in tend motivate the other players on the field. A Captain should be seen exuding all the energy he can gather, as he goes around coordinating efforts that will see them play as a team with a purpose and direction. A captain should be committed to the cause of the team and be ready to serve anybody that plays a part of the team he Lords over, and finally, he should be forceful but the Ghanaian skipper seems to have none of the above qualities.

What good is a striker who doesn’t strike but only runs and lose all the fifty-fifty balls? What good is a striker who scores an average of two or three goals in a whole tournament? (You can check his performance in the team from SA2010) Asamoah Gyan has all the backing he can get as a nation and has been doted on enough, so I think his continuous inclusion in the team by now is only detrimental to the team. It is true some of his goals come at a time when it’s so needed and usually uplifting but I hardly jubilate when he does because that is exactly what he was called up to the team to do. Every striker should score goals so what is so special when he scores a goal in about three matches?

It is rife that Coaches or team managers are influenced to call up some players into the national team and so it came to pass that, the Coach, Mr. Kwesi Appiah was allowed to do his own thing, but to think that he used his independent mind to call up Adomah and John Paintsil who plays in second division teams, leaves much to be desired. There was the inexperienced Jerry Akaminko who was fidgety all over the place at the expense of a half-fit Andre Dede Ayew who plays in one of the competitive leagues in the whole world and also scored a goal during the weekend.

Fact that the Manager is fully in charge of the team does not mean he can do anything he likes. He may be in charge but we can also see what is happening and can contribute to the cause. Manning a cause such as this is no child’s play, so I will admonish him to sit up and do his homework. He is one of the luckiest coaches to ever handle the Black Stars and many factors attest to that fact. He must not be seen on the touchline appearing all serious but nothing to show for. The seriousness is not supposed to be seen on his face, we want it replicated on the field with a sense of purpose and a strategy.

I have never really had a problem with talented folks who are arrogant or non-conforming even though it doesn’t augur well for group dynamics. It is not easy becoming a star. The time and hard work that is inputted into the endeavor only makes one end up with an attitude and if you think I’m lying, observe everyone who does his or her thing well. I don’t care if KP Boateng, Sulley Muntari or Dede is arrogant; all I want is their call up into the team. Many great Stars like C. Ronaldo, Ballottelli and Suarez would have been retired by their national teams by now because I’m yet to see any player who has attitude more than these stars but to think that they still make up their national teams can only tell you something and that is these Ghanaian players are left out in the cold for someone’s selfish gains, and once again, one man’s expectation cannot paramount over a national cause.

If the said persons are indisciplined but have been disciplined enough to distinguish themselves in an endeavor, then I don’t see why they should not be called up. If anyone wants disciplined players to play for our team, they should go to the Parish and call up the mass servants because they are disciplined and God-fearing. What we want for our Black Stars are players with exceptional skills, not people who will only play the ball forward and run on the park like Hares.

I can’t say much since its early days yet but I miss my darling boy Andre Dede Ayew and Sulley Muntari in the squad because their experience and presence alone makes me look forward to a great match any day, any time, and to conclude, I wish the Black Stars well in the rest of the group matches because to whom much is given, much is expected.