Some women get it wrong!

"As much as men do not expose some of their chunk of boneless flesh through their flaps while going about their daily businesses, the women should also spare us the sights of cracks in their butts and their almost-about-to-flip breasts from its uncomfortable zones. Being a woman is sexual enough!"

I have heard in many circles that women are their own enemies and as much as I believe that same goes to men too, I couldn’t help agreeing more to that assertion. Whilst, it is easy for commentators to be labeled chauvinistic in nature, I want to also believe that, all the men seek to do, is to comment on what happens in the world of our women.

What’s the big deal? A 20year old Musician, Miley Cyrus “simulated masturbation with a giant foam finger, grabbing her crotch and rubbing herself against a man old enough to be her father, pretending the man was performing anal sex on her and walked around in a nude latex bikini” in a bid at performing ‘twerking’, to the audience that graced the just ended MTV VMA awards in America and the world at large and you ask yourself what has the world come to?

People are talking about how racist the performance was, but, since I don’t have much racial experiences except the one I have had with my fellow ‘Blacks’ who prefers to treat the ‘Whites’ with a sense of urgency at the expense of ethical considerations where everyone should be treated equal and orderly, as far as queues are concerned, so, I have chosen to talk about how the performance was debasing to women.

 

Why is everyone going out of their way to flaunt their sensuality when it is the least to be showcased anyway? It is very convenient for some ladies to go about half naked or to expose their vitals at the mercy of raunchy feeding eyes of men. Whereas, it is worthy to note that this trend is mainly spearheaded by the unmarried who should ideally keep their bosoms intact, the irony is even heightened by the fact that the trend is overwhelming our society.

It is a disturbing phenomenon to say the least, because, they are all around us.  All you have to do is to watch a secular video clip and you will find a woman who is almost nude and shaking what her mama gave her, as though her life is dependent on the act. It is even interesting to note that their male counterparts in the same act looks all dressed up if not well dressed up. I don’t know women to have much to do with Motorbikes, but you are bound to see a half-butt naked woman advertising the brand. They do same when advertising for a stick of cigarette, cars, room fittings, furniture, underwear, stilettos and what have you.

Have some women allowed themselves to be demeaned just because they are deemed to be leaving in a patriarchal society?

Watch a Hip-hop video and you will see a woman happily washing cars in a bikini while her male counterparts sit comfortably throwing dice and sipping alcoholic beverages which does not make sense. Women are supposed to be dignified, protected and taken care of, so subjecting them to such roles only makes you ask if it is solely for the love of money or it’s just their preserve?

Sensationalism accounts for some of the factors that have driven some of these ladies along this road but we also know that, most of them are oblivious of their own folly and ignorance, as they immerse neck deep into unknown cultures and fashion trends.

As much as I do not like to wade into the sensationalism caused by these puppet stars who are instructed on what to do, to be in the tabloids just to distract us from the basic issues and imminent dangers we are faced with on daily basis, my reverberating thoughts would not let me be.

It’s an unequivocal fact that, one’s action or feelings should not stop the other from expressing their persona and what makes them happy since it infringes on their rights, but if the popular maxim still stands that men are aroused by what they see, then is it not convenient to say that, some of these women are pushing their ‘freedom-to-express’ button too hard?

These sights are even commonplace with the advent of social media where everyone feels a sense of entitlement to their space or walls, forgetting that, values and culture still abounds and nothing has changed. Maybe, things have changed, but, can’t we exercise some decorum?

As long as men do not expose some of their chunk of boneless flesh through their flaps while going about their daily businesses, the women should also spare us the sights of cracks in their butts and their almost-about-to-flip breasts from its uncomfortable zones. Being a woman is sexual enough!

Experience even tells some of these poster women with the knack of going semi-nude that, such a lifestyle have a telling effect on their social capital, thereby making them a ‘Miss Right now’ rather than a ‘Miss Right’ for horny men with prying eyes. Yet, the trend is on the ascendency, all in the name of Freedom of expression, a fundamental human right that must be enjoyed by everyone.

We have an explosive menace on our hand as a society and the multi-million dollar question is, how do we curb this derailing trend that is about to detonate, thus, setting our society ablaze with naked women around all dressed-up men?

Saints and Sinners!

I don’t know if this rhetoric will fit to be a good prose,

Neither am I sure if it will be laden with any literary devices.

Not to talk about poetic quality to adorn it like thorns on a rose;

But I pray the questions inherent provokes your thought

And set your mind and heart on a soul searching spree.

It might even help your spirit soar and set your conscience free.

But firstly, show me two things and let’s proceed; a saint and a sinner.

And the difference between a righteous and a self-righteous spinner.

Yes, I binge drink and you occasionally gulp in a couple of spirits.

I wear condoms and aid in abortions while you literally kill people.

Just like my liking for the color green and you, purple!

You also point fingers at me for smoking while you safely harbor in lust;

Avariciousness is what you wake up to yet you call me a thief;

You spit on my existence and what I stand for, like a dustbin;

While calling me names because I don’t indulge in your kind of sin;

You call me a sinner while you live your illusive life as a saint.

Forgetting that you cannot see through any object with a taint.

How about removing the log in your eyes first – objectivity.

Before proceeding to quenching my thirst – positivity.

You sex two or more people yet call me a prostitute – subjectivity.

We both engage in different and varied degrees of vices – relativity.

So just allow your good self to live and let’s live – adaptivity.

I want to be free; devoid of your labeling theories.

To be referred to, as an individual and not this or that

Hence my resolve to be true, thorough and tough,

A force to reckon with and not to be written off,

Accept my flaws for it is not your call to judge.

Just do your bidding and wait for the clarion call,

The only moment to know the true saints and sinners.

Sex - Key to knowledge (II)

I have come to believe that the world basically revolves around sex, hence my affinity to the Freudian school of thought which postulates that, the existence of the libido is the underlying subconscious energy with which mental processes and structures are invested and which also generates erotic attachments, and a death drive, the source of repetition, hate, aggression and neurotic guilt. You would realize that almost everything we do as humans are directed at sex and if you think otherwise, then our worlds must be apart.

Sex with all kinds of accolades plays a lot of roles in our lives; it eases pain, reduces anxiety, heals us, and gives us joy and many more I cannot list and will always come calling, as long as our systems are functional. 

Is it any wonder our generation connote every object or even ideas to sex? Almost everything now has a sex appeal, e.g. cars are now sexy, dresses are sexy, we have human figures which are sexy and those that are not for both genders. Motorbikes comes sexily done, not to talk about houses, our postures, gestures and just anything.

Our wise generation discovered miseducation and everything went haywire. Ladies, now spend all their time pursuing non-practical education for a Certificate; a mere printed paper whose lost can be replaced by an attestation and at the expense of their biological developments, signs and warnings which is irreplaceable by any sustainable method known by man. 

Formal education as a social value has eroded the science of nature which is dictated by all the changes we undergo as humans; changes that cannot be altered in any way whatsoever. 

Since no one can actually cheat nature in its entirety, young men and women are not able to ignore their heat feelings, so somehow, they find ways to gratify sex but only for sensual reasons thus pleasure, when they ought to have been married and if possible, still pursuing their miseducation. And since sex for any reason other than propagative purposes primarily will only result in pain, sickness, sorrow and death, our generation is having its fair share of all the above.

Young ladies are always queued up to carry out abortions of pregnancies they could have kept while most of them are busily educating themselves notwithstanding the fact that they still fail in the end and others end up losing their womb which brings about untold hardships and its related misery.

Both young men and women are contracting venereal diseases every hour thus failing themselves and society as a whole in the process, and all these comes with depression, not to talk about its rippling effects. Our generation will surely discourage and possibly laugh at an 18 year old girl who wants to marry. She would be asked if she knows what she is getting herself into. She would be asked to narrate all she knows about love, as if, that is what it should necessarily take. The person is responding to the biological changes in her system like menstruating periodically, the need for companionship and the need to be sexually satisfied and you talking about love? 

Sex has plunged many individuals and nations into destruction. Scandals in sex has brought many respectable men on their knees and brought untold hardships on them. Many embittered people are prowling in our society calling themselves broken-hearted just because their partners have refused to have sex with them any longer or have initiated sex with another person who eventually has come to occupy their space. 

People are killing others everyday because they have either perceived or found out that their partners are having sex with others and by now you cannot underestimate the power of sex and all the thoughts it provokes in our minds. It will interest you to note that, most issues that emanate from marital relationships all revolves around sex. Either the man wants more or less of sex to which the other partner is not enthused about or one of them is having it elsewhere or both.

You must be out of your senses if you have been underestimating sex anyway. Whether you are religious or an atheist, sex comes with a burden most people cannot carry especially if you fail to have it for the right reasons which is propagation.

God in his ten commandments given to Moses emphatically commanded Christians not to either commit fornication or adultery which outrightly bars the unmarried from having sex and I am wondering how you have fared with these two commandments or probably, it’s just one of those fictional stories and should be treated with the contempt it deserves.

Indiscriminate sex certainly has its consequences and no one can escape it even in the long run. Sex is an energy which must not be toyed with and if you are wondering how energetic sex can be, then watch how semen from a sex encounter metamorphoses a woman until she delivers another human being who becomes an extension of his family of procreation with an almost striking resemblance to its parents.

A friend of mine, Kofi Wilson, in a discussion sometime ago gave me an enlightened perspective on sex which has lingered on my mind for some time now. He sought to say, everyone has been bestowed with immense power or energy which is represented by sex or reproductive organs or even the number of sex we will have. As generative as sex is, every sex should be directed at propagating ourselves i.e. to multiply our empires to help us fight when the Armageddon war starts (Rev 16:16) 

We are supposed to be multiplying like the sand at the shore as instructed by God, our Creator, but the famed serpent whose encounter with Eve changed everything has managed to introduce to us, family planning methods, contraceptives, condom usage and other means of averting that generative force from coming into fruition. It doesn’t want us to be ready for the war. The serpent wants us to be powerless, frail, pathetic and hopeless soldiers even before the start of the war.

All other things being equal, if sex can bring forth another human being which becomes a force to reckon with, then, do you know how much energy in the form of human that you have been wasting which you might be compelled to account for someday?

Do you know how many other human beings you could have surrounded yourself with, with all the generative force which you have turned into a pleasure expedition and the pills you have been popping?

God must be very displeased with us but we can turn around and safeguard what is left of our curse where pain, humiliation, sorrow, sickness and eventual death will be our portion.

generative faculty. Let us stop using it as a means to an end. Let’s stop using it as collateral for school and hostel fees. Let’s not give it out for a film premiering at Silverbird or to make a fantasy come to fruition. Let’s stop using it as a means to securing a vacancy slot. Let’s also stop the practice of using what we have to get what we want because the only thing we should want from what we have is a child, lest we remain in our

If you know all about sex and respond to it accordingly but cannot stay without it, then get married and have it as much as you want so that you can also fall within the divine plan and probably get ready for the war.

Sex - Key to Knowledge (I)

Inarguably, almost everyone who has attained the age of puberty and beyond has something to say about sex, because we all know a thing or two about the pervasive act which has being with us since the days of Adam. Sex will not leave us anytime soon and anything short of its practice whether on legal, health or moral basis is bound to see the procreation of man come to an end and by extension, extinction of the human race and any living thing that procreates through mating.

For the records, I would like to state that, this piece has a religious underlining and my own conviction which must not necessarily corroborate anyone’s thought or otherwise. I want to be solely responsible for everything herein to avoid the seeing-is-believing bunch of die-hards who will ask me to show them empirical evidence. I am also grateful for the source literature which sparked up the interest to write this piece on sex, but if you ever decide to read beyond this piece, then my article is premised on the Bible in the book of Genesis Chapters 2:16 & 17 and 3:1-20 for your own perusal.

The first time I heard someone relating the famous tree of knowledge of good and evil to sex, I asked him to stop right there because the novice that I was, thought him a blasphemous goon to which I was not going to be a part of and this was in the mid 90’s when I was in Secondary School but some years on, my conviction about the sex theory has grown more than that guy who was probably just saying.

Simply put, the bible which is the embodiment of truth is and cannot be comprehensible to everyone thus the perplexity that comes with its comprehension through generations before us and the ones to follow. The bible in its simple state is as well the most complex of books that has been authored by man. No, men of God! And it explains why the boy retorted to me “were you expecting them to say, they had sex?” Intriguing!

Why is it hard for us to believe that Adam and Eve had sex anymore than we can believe that it was literally a tree named a ‘tree of knowledge of good and evil?  Has the tree become extinct? How come we don’t have any more of those species of trees anymore? 

Either we were told lies or the teachers didn’t know anymore than the students they professed to have been teaching and some of these discoveries which falls outside our syllabi and other accepted ways of doing things make me look back and ponder over our system. Either the conspiracy theory rages on or too many ignorant people are placed in authoritative positions by other ignorant people who misguides and misdirects us. No wonder, my visual representation of apple until recently has always been Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden clad in their loin cloths; Eve extending a bitten apple to Adam.

To the best of my knowledge, sex is the key to knowledge without which, one is considered as innocent. Sex is one of the yardsticks for measuring Knowledge that is why people are considered to have entered a different phase of life when they marry – the ideal time to have sex and it is also worthy to note that sex is primarily for procreation.

Most of us had our perceptions about life changed the first time we had sex. Everything became different and in most cases, we felt afraid, grown and arrived. Well, that is how we started discovering knowledge which mainly constitutes good and evil and admittedly, we also discovered pain, sorrow and sickness.

Hitherto the eating of the fruit of the mythical tree of knowledge of good and evil, Adam and Eve were espoused to be good; the former chasing after animals and naming them and the latter strolling in other parts of the Garden until she met ‘the serpent’, where they exercised their creative functions independently of God’s directive and there and then, they knew instantly that, they were naked and almost aware of their very existence and the emphasis is on Knowledge.

Remember, they were admonished to stay away from that tree, yet they disobeyed God. They thought outside the box and became aware of stellar influences which they were previously unaware of. They have become all knowing soon after eating from the tree of knowledge of good and evil.

Knowledge seekers already know that knowledge brings us pain and sorrow but also comes with inestimable blessings of emancipation from outside influence and guidance, so it came to pass that, Adam and Eve were cursed which was not necessarily a curse but an expression or a simple statement of the resultant effect of their creative function they exercised.

Is it a curse to tell your Son who is now of age to shoulder responsibilities upon assumption of manly status evidenced by his impregnation of a woman? They are just consequences of your action.

They had sex and even though it was disobedient to God, the generative force brought about childbirth which was followed by God’s curse which was merely the consequences of their thinking outside the box. They probably did not wait for God’s directive to eat of the tree or in plain terms, to have sex but was God going to ask them to eat it someday? Wouldn’t it have been illusive, well, until manifested?

Doesn’t our society punish us for not falling in line? Society chastises anyone who thinks outside the box until something different and sustainable is discovered or unearthed. They come as defiant and labeled as deviants for not heeding to the existing norms but again it is the only way new things are created.  

Just like God told Adam and Eve that the eating from the knowledge tree would result in their death (maybe spiritually) which did not come to pass, it is in same vein society spells to us all kinds of consequences that could befall us should we do something that does not fall within the box. Mostly, the daring ones who go beyond the threshold as we have come to know only discover a new form of beauty.

Had man remained a God-guided automation, he would not have known sickness, pain or death till this day; but would have lacked the brain consciousness and independence which resulted from the enlightenment by the serpent who opened his understanding and taught him to use his then dim vision to gain knowledge of his world which he was already destined to conquer.

You would recall that before man’s enlightenment, he had not known sickness, pain nor death but all resulted from the unwise use of the propagative faculty and its abuse for the gratification of the senses.

Sex is a generative force which if used ignorantly or for other purposes primarily becomes responsible for our pain, sorrow and sicknesses. Sex cannot be used as way of killing boredom neither should it be used as a means of pursuing pleasure. Sex (organs) as a function is designed solely for the perpetration of species and under no circumstances for the gratification of sensual desire.

As higher order primates, we naturally and primarily get most things done wrongly because of our emotions which results in our desires, other than how things should be, as evidenced in our altering of almost everything and now anal sex by gays.

Animals in their wild state are exempt from sickness and pain because their propagation is not influenced by emotions and desires but carried under the care and direction of the wise cosmic spirit at only those times of the year which are propitious to that process just like most women feel for sex before, during or after their menstrual periods. 

Nowadays, people practically arrange to have sex without being on heat or just have sex at will and it is this unwise use of the propagative faculty and its abuse for sensual gratification of the senses that has brought untold hardships on us individuals and the generation as a whole.

It was not unwise of our forefathers to marry their daughters and Sons off in their puberty when their reproductive organs became matured. The older folks knew that, their libidos will be naturally aroused from time to time and failure to satisfy it could just result in sickness, a form of pain, neglect or masochism over a period of time thus the ease and convenience of marrying them off to have sex as and when their heat mechanism is activated.

Declare your assets!

Needlessly though, but, I wish to state that the caption of this piece was not borne out of mischief, since it’s bound to evoke all kinds of emotions and also serve as a reminder to most of you who were born in and around the 70’s, but has taken the pains to go through our national history, and are familiar with the (in)famous ‘declare your asset” mantra that characterized Ex-President Jerry John Rawlings’ war he waged to purge corruption in our dear nation, Ghana.

Declaring assets is something most women are very familiar with and dates back since time

immemorial. The idea was even pervasive because it was considered a value and held in high esteem, of which failure to comply did not only portray you as a deviant but also as someone who had a sinister motive. It was culturally upright and was even a norm and no one actually questioned the ease with which it was assimilated into the society and it is in this vein that men could ask their spouses or wives to account for their own monies or just anything they acquired which was worth buying.

A typical man would ask his significant other, where she got that new red dress in vogue or the new Gucci hand bag she’s wielding without batting an eyelid or feeling guilty as long as he didn’t buy it for her while it was out of place for the woman to ask the man where he got anything. It was a sacrilege. The prejudiced man that has been conditioned by his culture only goes to think of another man in the picture. And dominantly so, this reason comes to inform why a woman accounts for everything she has, so as to avoid any suspicion from the man and any unnecessary drama that might rear its ugly head in the near future.

In the not too distant past, women were not permitted by cultural expectations to own properties since they themselves were deemed properties of men. What did you expect? Till now, men have always been properties of other men, but thank God for liberation. They were even exempted from a share of their dying or demised Father’s properties which often came in the form of buildings, farm lands and other investments. They were only lucky to inherit the cooking utensils and other perceived feminine things their mum did not even own. 

Women were practically brought up not to even look forward to inheriting or owning anything which made them quite dormant, with regards to their outlook and worldview and it affected their insight, thus their resolve to fight and become independent individuals which is usually determined by your will and ability to earn. Per the dictates of societal norms, pursuits of these things for the woman were needless! 

A man and a woman may both be vested in their family business but when proceeds from their venture purchases any capital or big ticket goods, like buildings, cars, furniture or any other thing you can think of, it bears the man’s name without ado and should the woman even raise an eyebrow, she would be alluded as challenging the status of the man or is planning to cause trouble in the near future or in even worse situations, trying to emasculate the man. That must be some weird value then!

Fast forwarded to our modern dispensation, it is only noteworthy to laud ourselves for the wonderful and immense stride we have taken to advance our lives as a people. Women now own so much, so that, some are playing the bread winning roles in various homes. It is now convenient for a woman to own so much that, she can buy a whole market, and her man has no idea what is going on around him. Strange bedfellows, right?

However, in our back and forth movement, one thing is now significant. The woman has moved from the traditionally compelling asset declaring entity to a willful one who would only tell or draw her man into her economic affairs just because she wants to.

Even though, a few men can still not get their heads around the dramatic cultural change, and are grappling with the concept, thus, making it difficult for women to engage in their own economic affairs, because they think that, it is an erosion of one of their long held cultural values, women are engaging in all kinds of business transactions and enjoying their fruits thereof thereby improving the situation qualitatively. Only a few women still gives everything they earn to their husbands or better still account and explain every pesewa that goes through their hands. 

Alternatively, asset declaration as a phenomenon has only been bridged between the sexes but has gained prominence in Politics. In governance, it has to do with declaring your earnings, which is usually done on your behalf by your company who mandatorily informs the government about exactly how much you earn, so that, they can actuarially project your economic worth, thus what you can acquire and how far you can fare around. 

The information provided among other things, serves as a data for many stakeholders who consults it for decision making which influences how wealth or human resources are re-distributed. It is also imperative that, assets are declared so that the government can have his fair share of your earnings in the form of tax even though some entities understate what they are worth. 

Declaring assets has its own story through history and many Christians will be quick to recall what happened to Ananias and Sapphira when they failed to correctly declare their assets which they set out to do voluntarily. Tithing is also an aspect of declaring assets to both God and the clergy because all one has to do to know your total income is to multiply your tithe by ten and bingo, your income is known.

To this end, it is convenient to say declaring asset is not a new phenomenon and has been with us for long and has undergone radical and tremendous changes, however one thing is significant and that is women have been left off the hook to now own properties and not necessarily explain their whereabouts or how-comes.

The system has been liberalized enough for any gender with the wherewithal to go all out and still keep their secrets intact except the overarching government whose radar we cannot escape but to declare every asset we own.