Inbox me!

If you have been on Facebook for some time now, then definitely, you would have asked someone to inbox you or you would have been asked to inbox someone. You would have to know that inboxing is the in-thing that keeps people glued to the sites even if it seems like they have not been around in a while. Humans as we are, we require some level of privacy in our lives hence the need to create a message portal where no tabs are kept on the activities that goes on, unlike other activities that goes on, on the site.

Having noted the level of privacy that characterizes our in-boxes, it has become convenient to route all our activities that we don’t want spilling in the public domain through our inbox. It is why two individuals can keep a correspondence going on without even being friends on Facebook.

As denying as we can be, we claim none of our personal lives have anything to do with what we do here on Facebook so how come we like and comment on statuses we can only relate to? How come we post our pictures and get upset by comments people make and even sometimes on their own walls far away from ours? If the very lives we live outside the virtual world have nothing to do with all these activities, how come we update our profile with our residential locations, where we work and other revealing information that can help others zero in on us?

If you happen to be a heavy user, then you must be among the people who switch from their personal computers to their smartphones, pads and back to their computers; a complete cycle, just to be abreast with happenings on their timeline. A summation of the time people spend on social sites can range between three hours and twelve hours as they browse through the day and night, as depicted by their activities they leave behind. 

Logically, if we spend that much time here, then it is right to make friends here, create families, seal contracts, close sales and project ourselves the way we want to be known because all it takes to achieve all of these is frequent interaction between two individuals. There are so many account holders parading on our timeline; some are males behind female accounts and vice versa and some, so disguised to suit their purposes of why they created the account in the first place and lastly, the real and fun people who have eventually made it a way of life.

If you really are going to be friends with someone, then all you have to do is either send them a friend request, or send them a simple hi. Other ways to become friends with people is to like their comments or comment on their wall posts, unless friendship is not bound to be, which doesn’t happen in the real world. In the real world, people are very choosy, they look at you, and try to access you in their own way before even opening up to you. In the real world, you have to ask permission before looking through albums and even that, they have to stand on your neck just so you don't give meanings to the pictures like we used to do with the pictures in the book of my Bible Stories.

Expectedly, the place started getting crowded and bubbly and so it became harmless and convenient to flirt, which builds up slowly and conveniently because we won’t have such persons calling our phones incessantly through the day and night and we also would not have them frequenting our houses, and lastly, we can dictate the pace of the flirtatious relationship that is gradually entangling us unawares. 

Consequently, it has become scary the way some people have become a grid to which other people are connected. Some have about 3 or more partners they flirt with or are simultaneously having relationships with and they have no problem doing that at all.

And while we are still at it, trying to conform to the changes the inboxing has brought about, people seem to be getting good offers and moving on, while some are chasing waterfalls. Others are building constructive and meaningful relationships beyond the virtual world and forming great businesses, family and finally, social bonds that are bound to see the test of time.

However the thrust of my piece is, so many relationships are breaking fast because of who the rightful keeper of a password should be. In some instances, men want to have their ladies’ password without reciprocating the act and in some, they both want each other’s and those who can’t have their way are either hacking the accounts of their partners and some walking away from the relationship because of mistrust.

The hacking of the account is mostly done by guys who put in all it takes to get into their ladies’ inbox to track down their conversations with other people and somehow they come out with something. some of these conversations are usually harmless as the word itself and some are flirtatious or at most cheating which confirms the suspicion that got them acting in the first place. 

Getting into the inbox usually is the first step into the inquiry because it is yet to open a can of worms. Those who hack are faced with a charge of breach of trust by going behind their women and and are taken on seriously. some of these women who gets their accounts hacked walk away because they usually could not comprehend the reason for such acts and some actually walk away because of the shame or betrayal. 

Refusal to give out your account password only means one thing and that is, you have skeletons in your cupboard but sometimes, it’s more than meets the eye and at other times too, they find solution to the ensuing problem. Once in a while apart from the trust partners have for each other, they feel like knowing some of the happenings that they are blinded to or if any of them are keeping secrets. After all, having a relationship is a life and death venture and requires a timely reconciling of books and those are the moments they wish to go through the accounts and refusal to allow them a pass only means one thing and your guess is as good as mine.

Sometimes, we are quick to label the people to be insecure but I want to call it stock taking. Every good business person stops to analyze the business, go through the books to ascertain the position of the business. We are humans and forgetful so it is just right that we can forget or become complacent and start something new elsewhere.

Partners from time to time feels they should know all of the happenings in their spouse's life which is correct to a very large extent and it is rightly so, because if you don't have anything to hide now or in the near future, why then are you feeling apart from your partner when you people are actually working towards being one?

However, it's not always a case of hiding something that may be detrimental to the relationship. sometimes, some partners just want to train their spouses to trust without stalking them or looking into everything they do. At other times too, it saves you from answering unnecessary questions like "who is that?", "why did you tell him this or that?", "something tells me that this your friend is not a good one, so i don't approve of your friendship"

In the midst of this ensuing trend coupled with the fact that our forebears never encountered problems of these nature, it behooves all of us to come to a consensus as to how it should be and why it has to be so thus the clarification of the overview of the situations on the ground and the only way we can smoothen the rough edges is by answering the questions that have been outlined below

  

1. Is it right for partners (as long as they recognize each other) to possess each other’s passwords? 
2. Where they don't have passwords to their accounts, is it a breach for the man to hack into the ladies account?
   3.   In instances where the account is hacked, should we emphasize on why the man hacked the account or emphasis should be placed on why the woman is cheating/flirting?
   4.     Does having each other’s account on Facebook or other social sites guarantees that there won’t be cheating/Flirting?
   5.       Does asking for your partner’s password mean you are insecure?
   6.       Do you think having each other’s password can curb down cheating/Flirting?

2.