Thursday 4 October 2012

The Looming Storm #The cross#


“You have changed; you don’t seem the same person”  

“I am the same person; I just noticed a few things”

“What the hell is your problem?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now”

“You don’t seem very happy”

“Am I happy at all, have I ever been happy?” he said and grimed

Kenai has never done well in relationships and life as a whole. He has not really been able to sustain any meaningful relationship, that is if he’s had any. The few he tried never went past the acquaintance stage and he knew he had some kind of problem. Yes, he had a problem and it’s the fact that, he was able to spot good women from afar but could not make them work for him. He actually needs a woman in his life as much as he needed the air but he felt he was well without one. Being without one mostly was just a facade to veil his broken self and he only ventured if he had the time and space to put up.

His only and current relationship was borne out of the fact that his clock was ticking and his curiosity to find out what actually kept people in it, made him embark on this journey. He was running out of time and needed some companionship. He doesn’t know how the relationship was going to be of help to the lady involved but he has a need and has to feed. He was in his middle age and was getting afraid of developing gay tendencies and eventually becoming a loser, so he was trying to clutch at just anything that comes his way.

 He has never been out there in pursuit of a woman, no, he has no preference and never thought about that. He even wonders, why some men make so much fuss about who is good for them, even without relating with the fellow. He was not the type to go looking out there for a woman; he was too good for that, not when women abound in every nook and cranny, women outnumbering men in all spheres of life except in governance. It was trivial to him anyway. Every woman is a woman and the difference lies in the men. The ability to choose what suits you; the one that could adapt to you is the differentiating factor. He believed in his sense of judgement and knew he was going for his Yin. The only thing that mattered was when to strike.

Kenai wanted to be ready before he engaged someone. He doesn’t want to be emotionally immature and absent-minded when the Queen of his heart finally gets chosen but life happens, so it happened to him.  Awkward as it may seem, they met at a pub the first time. They accidentally bumped into each other and they both looked awfully sorry, each of them drowned in their own problem but looking into each others eyes and their gaze softened. He smiled coyly at her, but she was indifferent.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” she quizzed.

And instead of answering her question, he smiled and it was the smile that warmed her heart.

“You are cute, I like you but I recently got out of a bad relationship” she revealed

He was amazed at her assertiveness and instinctively believed that they were going to at least embark on a journey, even if there’s no destination in sight. The realization that he was going into a relationship again alone gave him transient jitters.

“I just got out of a lot of relationships and I promise you that I’ll love you if you promise to fall in love with me” he offered with some kind of seriousness that revealed his cute facial features.

She was awed by his response. She felt the words were candid and also sensed pure honesty. She would always go for honesty, because what she lacked in her previous relationships, which always ended up in her being used and abused all the time. It was too easy for her to fall in love because she believes in people and also believes each of them has some good in them. The words were too good to be true. She did not hesitate to promise and they fell in love instantly and that night would become the first time he ever made an entry into Tickles without tasting any alcohol and for the first time in his adult life, he felt, content, matured and happy.

He was a regular at Tickles, his favorite pub. It was only a favorite because it was the only pub he could afford and out of proximity, it became the only one he patronized. Chances are that any customer who visits Tickles at least twice a week knows Kenai.  Apparently, both of them had come to drown their high end sorrows away but ended up signing a pact to a new life.

A new life of love, lust, confusion, lost identity, joy, sadness, illusion, anger and what have you. Life is a lot more than death and it happens to everyone. It was just a matter of time and he will be served. That understanding of life made things quite easier. He was only taken aback because he least expects them, when they happen. Every fortune or otherwise that comes his way was part of the life he was living, that is why it happened. He believes that everything happens for a reason. How else would the divine plan fall in place? As far as he was concerned, no one volunteers to be a victim, it just happens.

“You never tell me anything. Either I figure it out or I get hit by its effects. You are everywhere except here. You have never had time for this relationship” she squealed out.

“How can you be this ridiculous, me, never had time for this relationship, is it an enterprise anyway? He replied her with a pitch higher than his normal voice.

“You never disappoint! This is what you say every time” she said as she woke up from the sofa, where she sat that morning, towards the Bedroom room.

“Just like you, who can’t let a day slip by without nagging, I am even tired of you”

She suddenly stopped in her tracks, spun round and looked at him for a while.

 “Since when did you realize this sad aspect of our relationship?” she inquired with a far away look in her eyes.

“Since you started over-protecting and making me feel like I couldn’t be my own man” as he looked intently at a pattern on the wall left there by dirt and to avoid her gaze.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to feel bad’

“So, why are u telling me now?”

“Because I want you to feel bad”.

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