Ghanaians to stop the copy and paste

"The best way to know what you are talking about is to know what you are talking about" - Harvey Mackay

Imagine a function where the Keynote Speaker walks up to the podium, greets and starts talking to the people without reading any book or making any reference to any sheet of paper yet is able to talk within the parameters of the subject matter. Don’t you think the Speaker will capture the attention of everyone gathered there? Again, Imagine a Lecturer who walks into the lecture theatre without any note or pamphlet whatsoever yet is able to deliver satisfactorily? Don’t you also think that the awe and the interactive style will get everyone glued and attentive?

This is Ghana where most of our functions or events such as weddings, sod-cutting ceremonies, graduation ceremonies, commemoration of milestones, funerals, fund-raisers, naming ceremonies and Town hall meetings are marked with pomp and pageantry. The array of bright and colorful indigenous wears mixed with the stylized western ones on display, the cocktail of music and the grace with which the people mark these events is just a sight to behold. It is an experience everyone should be opportune enough to have, at least once in their lifetime.

However, there is one thing marring these events and that is the act of script reading. There is often that time of the programme where a big man comes to engage the people by delivering a keynote address to highlight the essence of the function which ostensibly becomes the part that takes the shine off the function by making it drag, ordinary, boring and tedious.

Interestingly, these speeches only vary per the thrust of the function where they are delivered at. The speeches which appear as though they are sourced from the same template are relatively the same and uninspiring. The uniformity of these messages also makes it possible for the audience or participants to predict what will be read at which function which in turn makes them uninterested and playful. 

It might interest you to note that should you attempt to attend four different weddings in a day, you will hear almost the same speech being read through it all albeit slight variations due to change in names and venue and same can be said for other functions. The uniformity which also gives the listeners who have listened to the edict since time immemorial the possibility to predict what will be read results in the audience engaging in other things such as walking in and outs of functions, others visiting the washroom or talking to each other or not paying attention. It becomes the time when people catch up on anything they may have sacrificed thus far.

Why do they come to the function with scripts? Why do they come to read verbatim prepared notes whose source we cannot authenticate? Even as it were, do they prepare their own speeches or the speeches are handed to them as they prepare to mount the podium as happened to Mad. Victoria Hammah, an Erstwhile Deputy Communications Minister? 

For a long while, I have been wondering why these supposedly experts who are even paid to deliver these speeches in most instances come to the people with a long boring essay they mostly appear to know nothing about. It is convenient to say they mostly know nothing about these scripted messages because they don’t fare well in the interactive or breakout sessions when the floor is opened. Given that these Experts who have been carefully chosen are on top of their games, why then do they have to come and read to us when they could just come and deliver their keynote addresses? 

Interestingly, most of these people can chat unend without any cue because the topic under discussion is something they know too well. It is something they have experienced or understand very well which is evident in how they contribute and deliver during chat sessions. They do not even bat an eyelid in an attempt to talk about their experiences which includes what they know so why the torture when it comes to public delivery?

At this juncture, I am of the convinced that these people who come reading to us do not know what they come to read to us. That is why they come with scripts. It is why they don’t even take their eyes off the script. It is why they avoid our eyes. It is why they bury their heads through the ordeal of reading their handouts to us.

Undoubtedly, everyone who has been elected to deliver a keynote address is worth his or her sort per the function under context and such moments certainly highlights their efforts with regards to their career build-up so coming around unprepared only seems a child play. It is rightfully so without mincing words because people do not go into interviews with referential materials unless it is otherwise stated neither do students go into exam halls with their revised notes. 

These are moments of truth. Time to test their know-how and how well they know what they are supposed to know, so why can’t it also be moments of truth for these keynote Speakers? Why can’t we change the face and approach to how some of these things should be done since society is culturally constructed? Why can’t we introduce a little bit of creativity into our functions where everybody’s delivery time and style will be unique per their personality and what they believe in except if they have to refer for facts and figures?

We have to allow them to come and tell us just what they can remember so everybody will know what they have been up to. We have to see them fumbling on the podium so everybody will know how responsible and competent they are. We have to see them scratching and hitting themselves when they can’t remember anything proving that they are not conversant with their job. We also have to see them when they stand on the podium without a clue as they turn blue.

We all know everyone can read. Everyone can just walk into a programme and be handed a note to read but that is not what we want or the way to carry on. Speakers must be prepared beforehand to be able to refrain from reading to their audience which behooves everyone to know what they are about before coming to mount such podiums. We want to be treated as discerning people. 

Don’t you think the change could see an exponential increase in people being a tad responsible and accountable? Yes, it will change the monotony and drag in programmes. Functions will be characterized with diversity and flair. They will also become interesting because you are certain to hear something different than listening to Speakers read from the speech template. The change will guarantee that only competent people lead or engage us. It will also guarantee a kind of quality in our functions and we, as a people will never be the same again.

Follow the writer on Twitter @vilejah

The blame game

The first stop Gotti made was at the Black Kettle - a little snack joint in his neighborhood they prefer to call Café, but upon second thoughts he decided to move on to a bigger and a popular place, preferably a restaurant where his chances of making it would be more of a possibility than a probability.

Ever since his keen resolve to accept responsibility for every action and inaction of his, he’s been keener on making it materialize before dawn. He is resetting sail. He is tired of blaming his parents for his predicament and has resolved to redirect his venom to any unsuspecting entity. It has to be someone other than himself or his family.

Courts are lined up with aggrieved parties seeking redress for something they ought to have been

responsible for and School drop-outs are blaming their teachers for cracking the whips. In other instances, folks are cussing and blaming stuck doors that won’t open upon their shove and drunk drivers are blaming the Ministry of Roads and Highways for deliberately digging potholes in the middle of the streets. Likewise, ill-prepared folks who get themselves stranded and beaten by the rains are blaming the Weatherman for not ensuring clarity in his reports and Workers Unions are also suing their employers as though there were no agreements before their engagements and nothing seems to make sense.

The country is rife with non-existent jobs and the question has moved from who is being lazy or not, so he has to be strategic enough to get by. By all means necessary he has to keep his head above the water levels. Everybody is blaming the President, just somebody, and here he was blaming his poor Parents all the while.

He loathed himself for being oblivious of the obvious. And, how come no one has prompted him that it was unhealthy to be responsible for every action and inaction of his, all these while? Gbetor m3 nyo! Could this possibly explain why the newlywed who lives next door is always blaming their families for putting them to it without accepting responsibility for still being together and Frankie also holding on steadfastly to religion so he can easily blame his faith for his ineptitude and shortfalls? 

Why does the truth make one feel like a fool, because that is what he is feeling right now.

Enough is enough! He is going to make some money tonight from being irresponsible for his actions. And when all is said and done, he will compensate his parents with thirty percent of his Judgement debt for all the wrongful accusations and the blame game and keep the rest of the seventy percent for himself. The thoroughly planned and much awaited road trip with his fiance has to finally come off before the week ends. The thoughts of them jollying about, only succeeded in strengthening his resolve and it must come to pass!

He finally slowed down and stretched his neck to see if there were oncoming vehicles upon reaching his destination. You can never tell, so he is being extremely cautious. He cannot risk being knocked off by one reckless driver who will deny him his due and additionally blame him for being the cause, so he looked to the left, then to the right and finally to the left again before crossing over to the entrance of the busy restaurant.

He pushed the door gently and entered, quite nervous but resolute. He will not entertain any cold feet now, so he moves straight to one of the empty spots in the room. He is about to order a cup of hot tea and spill it on himself and sue someone. Simple as that! And backed by a good Lawyer, he is certain of being compensated at all cost. It is just a matter of time and the owners of the place would be begging him to drop all the charges he intends to raise against them. His Grande launch into this countrywide blame game only made him relish the days ahead.

Let the games begin...

“Waaiiter!” he called out to no one in particular and leaned back into his chair with a smirk on his face.
 
 Follow the writer on Twitter @vilejah

Review: The 2014 VGMA in retrospect

It’s the aftermath of the Vodafone Ghana Music Awards 2014 (VGMA) and as usual, I am coming your way with society’s thoughts and mine ofcourse!

First of all, I would like to blame His Excellency, President John Mahama for allowing Vodafone and Charter House to subject the good people of Ghana to this ordeal. Next time, the Presidency should do well to integrate these aspects of happenings into the National Security itinerary. We need to be safe!

On to the show itself, it appeared amateurish after fifteen years of successive organization. A supposedly national show of this magnitude as the name depicts should come very organized because the brunt and all the criticisms stops at the doorsteps of Brand Ghana. There was no interlude for cultural displays such as Adowa, Borborbor, Kpanlogo and what have you, yet there was a Ghana Music Awards? I do not think that is all we have to offer as Ghanaians. 

Apart from the show coming to an end, I would not say it was a success except for some amusing moments to those who chose to be amused and those who chose to be irked by some of the stunts that were pulled by all the variables - Masters of Ceremonies (MCs), performing artistes, Winners of the coveted awards and Charter House alike.

I would not profess to know much about Event Organizations neither will I pass for any good director but I saw everything live and colored on my small TV and can say the show was more of a Music Fest than an Awards night. An awards night should be straightforward, devoid of innuendos unless the show is celebrating something else.

The Masters of Ceremonies (MCs) were flat and rigid. There was no cohesion between them and they lacked the flair to move and direct the crowd which was their prime objective. Instead of adding tad oomph to the show, they took away everything with their unprofessionalism. That bit about Iyanya’s stale relationship and the bit about him almost becoming our in-law while introducing the act was bewildering especially if the relationship was debilitating to him. I am sure you would agree with me that it threw the artiste off balance and probably accounted for him jumping around like a besieged toad. Simply, they did not really appear prepared.

The line-up of artistes for the night was too exhaustive with regards to the allotted time for performance. Methinks, it would have been business-like if they were allotted a limited time or asked to perform only two songs each or the number of artistes was rather reduced with much allotted time. I can only say R.I.P. to all the artistes who could not even mime but chose to shout as though they were not the recording artistes of the songs they performed. It is one thing to have a hit song and another to have a hit act. 

Apart from a few artistes like Sonnie Badu, Sarkodie, Samini, Mz.Vee, Stonebwoy who stood out even though they did not bring much aboard to keep us talking, the rest were a flop. And these people only stood out because the rest were mediocre. Talk about Castro who came to cheer lead the crowd and waving handkerchief as though we were at a retreat. For a hip/high life artiste who was not performing anything Borborbor, I must say it was Somewaybi.

The red carpet session was not timed and evidently, it dragged into the night which affected the closing time. Either being on the red carpet should have started earlier than it did or truncated after a while or better still continue interviewing the folks backstage while the show is on-going. Even though most of us are not interested in who they were wearing, we still insist that if it must be done, then it must be done well.

Going forward, it is worthy to note that a Psychic would be needed in the future to foresee inappropriate stunts such as the one which was pulled by Elikem-the-Tailor who also is the only Ghanaian to have made it to the Big Brother Africa Finals. As though the ambush advertisement where he was seen asking his fiancé, Pokello Nare to turn around for all to see how creative he can be even though he did not miss the chance to talk about his creativity on the red carpet, he went ahead to turn the supposedly national Awards night into a night of marriage proposal. I am wondering how the Awards night would have panned out if everybody came upstage with their ring to show how romantic they can be. Seriously, his demeanor on stage was somewaybi.

What accounted for all the potential winners who were nominated but could not make it to the Awards night? It is either they didn’t take the whole show serious or the Organizers did not take them serious. And to think that some of them were present but could not walk upstage to pick up their awards smacks of arrogance. The night was supposed to be one of the biggest nights in their Career, not ours. They have to be admonished to take themselves seriously.

In same vein, I am still trying after about 72 hours to fathom the reasons that would make an artiste with the highest number of Awards not go home with the coveted Artiste of the year Awards? How did Shatta Wale with only two awards ended up being crowned the Artiste of the year at the expense of Sarkodie who picked about four awards? Does that mean an artiste with just one award can also walk home with the Coveted Awards on a very good day? In other words, Charter House must do well to erode all the controversies that surrounds this scheme by coming out with clear cut criteria because it’s serious business.

Charter House also lost the plot by not doing anything humanly possible to avail the man of the moment Shatta Wale at the show. Shatta Wale should have performed because it is convenient to say that he was the only one who could have moved the crowd. Charter House did not make that possible simply because they are comfortable giving us just half baked foods. 

Clearly, Charter House is always getting away with their blunders but somebody tell them that the sum of the parts amounts to a whole. Maybe, I am being sentimental but I think Joey B driving home the Hyundai i10 was undeserved. I stand to be corrected but how many of Joey B’s song projected him to be the new discovery of the year at the expense of the sensational Bisa K Dei?

Maybe, Bisa k Dei and Stonebwoy with his Taribo West-like hairstyle who also went home with ten fingers must learn how to say pussy in their songs because sexually suggested songs win. Entertainment is entertainment and not a moral road show. Format a hard drive, say pussy and Voila!

Did I miss out on the Vodafone Icon, Funny Face, after the red carpet parade? You would have thought that somehow the Vodafone icon would have been fixed somewhere inside the programme but you can't always find reasons to justify why bad things happen to good people.

Stage Management was also substandard. Unlike other Awarding Ceremonies, there was only one stage with dim or very bright lights and all we had was one entry door which made it possible to predict where the act was coming from. It is also imperative that the organizers add more award categories to the existing ones and be mindful of their timing. If a programme is scheduled to close within three or four hours, they have to do well to keep their word and we just might also take them serious and contribute our quota as audience and observers. And oh the least said about MUSIGA’s in all of this, the better! 

After all is said and done, I would like to congratulate all the winners, not forgetting Charter House whom i will give a ‘C’ rating.