“Oh, why hasn’t he called?”
“I should be the one asking you”
“Are you sure he hasn’t?”
“No! He hasn’t, when did he say he will call?”
“He should have called by now because he said so”
“Then let’s wait for his call or you’d rather give me his number?”
And that is the height of desperation, depicted in a conversation going on between two female friends possibly waiting for a call from a third party who obviously is a man. It has become commonplace for people to ask their friends to connect them to one of their friends. Yes, they want their friends to introduce a friend of theirs to them, someone they could have intimate relationship with or maybe love.
We are a chain of people; each of us interrelating with the other, making it plausible for us to meet other people through our family and friends but I think it is way over board when we are just willing and have consented to meet any person that comes our way.
There are people we dislike upon sight without any premeditation and there are people we like so much that, even if all it takes is to hiss to get their attention and wave at them and that makes us feel good. There are times we even carry images of them about until something comes to interfere our thought process.
It is evident that chemistry between people cannot be necessarily enforced by a third party who usually is a mutual friend or someone we admire, that is why when people are fed up in a relationship, no amount of mediation and intervention by third parties are able to bring them together. Remember it takes only two to tango. Friendship or relationship should best be left between the two people involved to nurture, rather than allowing or leaving it in the hands of a third party we often refer to as a betweener.
Relationship building has become herculean these days that so many people are devising different strategies to be enlisted in the realm of relation shippers while some are totally giving up on the search. Even though there are no hard and fast rules to having a relationship with someone, methinks there are ideal ways, and one is to kind of meet the person or to have seen at least a photo of the person before expressing interest in them but the new thing in vogue is to contact a friend you like to connect you to one of their friends without having a glimpse of what they even look like.
A typical example is when a man, Kwame approaches his female friend, Ama to introduce him to one of her friends just because he thinks his friend, Ama is a cool headed girl or where a female; Akua approaches her friend John to introduce her to one of his friends because she likes John. Then the guy calls one of his friend who is usually the most troublesome and he goes like…
“Charley, I get girl for you o”
“Ehn, u sure? What be in name? she dey bee?”
“Buh you, abi you know say I no be yawa”
“I know you, so what’s up?”
And they’ll go on and on in that manner, but why do they seem so excited? Perhaps they have been through it before and it works both ways. You realized that none of them seemed interested in who the other is even before the meet. They are certain that they will know later, for now, all they want to do is quickly meet and start the shagging fest. Most people who look for partners that way are just people who are not interested in any long term relationship, they don’t look forward to any commitment or whatsoever and only want another avenue they can easily get sex.
Life is a big enterprise and the risk involved can be disastrous to our psyche, thus self-esteem but risking it all is like jumping off a flight without a parachute. What happened to everybody on your timeline? Your place of work, where you fellowship, your neighborhood and other social places? How come you don’t fancy any of them, let alone risk a try? There must be something wrong with you.
Some people feel good about the fact that they have put two people together but only one out of ten works on a very good day so why bother anyway. Some also like to know what’s in for them thus attracting a fee or a form of capital appreciation thus resulting in borderline pimping and that’s not so good for your reputation either.
Friendship hinges on so many things and that goes beyond asking a friend to just connect you to one of his or her numerous friends even though you don’t have much to lose. Sometimes, it works for those who have same things in common and at other times, it works for those who are at the extreme ends of the scale.
It is often good when the two people involved meets on their own, accidentally or planned and strikes a communication which may take the form of stealing glances at each other, striking a conversation and any attempt at being noticed by the other but the other smacks of too much desperation. Can’t you be single for a while until that emotion is ignited in you by someone you actually like?
If you are bent on having someone in your life at all cost, just follow those friends on outing sprees, ask them if you can come with them and if there is a friend of theirs to meet, you will meet and if it will work out or not, you can determine. Because fact that you like your friend doesn’t mean s/he will have friends you will like and it doesn’t mean you can have friendship with their friends.
There are people who register with agencies for the same purpose but that would be a topic to discuss some other time. It is very necessary that we are responsible for our own relationships because it is only us that know what we actually want, rather than what they think we want. Go out there and look for your own spouse and be up to it; make it work and stop asking your friends to connect you to their friends, it only makes you desperate!
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