Shit Happens!

One definite thing I am convinced about is, nobody likes to take ‘shit’ but I’m sorry to disappoint you because shit is what I am about to give you. It’s my hundredth blog and just to celebrate the journey already, I decided to pay you, my cherished reader with some shitty stuff. I would also like to thank you for being part of MYNAH where I express my thought, your thoughts and the after-thoughts of Society.

 Before you lose it, I really want to apologize for ruining your appetite but I am sorry, I just felt that projecting shit this way is good for our literature as a people and because most people would not talk about it even though it is an essential part of us. Society is quick give you all the lectures on what nauseating and disgusting is and label you uncivilized or uncultured should you pronounce the word shit as if it is a plague but before I proceed further, I would like to know if you do shit?

Is the labeling then an issue of self-righteousness or unadulterated decorum? I have heard people say, they can’t eat around shit or even lose appetite just at the flash of a shitty thought and that is allowed because shit stinks and sticks but I personally do not mind. How about being referred to as a piece of shit?

It is often referred to as faeces, pooh, stools and what have you, so I wasn’t disappointed when I tried to Google ‘shit’ and all I had was ‘shito’, ‘shite’.

Aside the gas which usually heralds the main event; shit comes to us in solid and liquid states and also in colors of black, tarry, smelly, yellow, green, red and sometimes, bloody when we fall sick. It goes through a system of its own and depending on what you ate and general health; your gas can be harmful or harmless. Sometimes, the release comes with a sound; ‘phush’, ‘tuin’, ‘boom’, ‘puu’, ‘puun’ and what have you. The shit system is such that, you eat, the digestion system in your tummy processes it and then it is ready to be let out.

I have mostly thought about why such an integral aspect of the human existence is not discussed publicly or even among dyad or triad of friends but again, it could be a societal norm. Shitting can be a pleasant or an unpleasant situation but I won’t emphasize on that just to avoid giving you graphic details of the shitty stuff.

You have had an unpleasant experience if you have ever had an upset tummy which we popularly refer to as running stomach. Another instance of an unpleasant experience is to be compelled by the stranger of a shit at a party, in the city, travelling aboard a public vehicle and many more other situations. There is no gainsaying that shit smells but it will be unnecessary hypocrisy if we perceive it the way we do. 

For once, have you thought about the role shit plays in your life? I know for a fact that when it becomes difficult for Medical doctors to diagnose you outright, they ask you to come to the hospital with a piece of your shit so they can pick through and trace where your problem is stemming from. Every morning, a part of society carries neatly packaged shit along in their bags, cars and what have you to the Hospital for the Doctor to test. Hmm!

Often times, you see people hurriedly about their business but most are on their way to answering nature’s call because your refusal to even respond on time can be detrimental to your social standing. And if you think otherwise, refuse to answer to nature’s call and you will forever be humbled or you will be on the next bus evacuating you out of town.

Shit is a weapon. It kills directly and indirectly. If you fall in a septic tank full of shit, you are bound to be scalded or die instantly. Inhaling the putrid smell of the shit can also be detrimental to your health. It can be used to demean one’s perceived opponent like the politicians do when they shit-bomb the offices and residences of their political opponents and when that shit-bomb ‘detonates’, the foul smell affects the whole area.

Shit! Have you ever been to the public toilet before? Ever seen people queued up with half sized A4/A3 old lotto and other newspapers, shredded and given them by the toilet manager(s) while they wait in line for their turn? If you haven’t, please, try and have a look for yourself. It can be funny in retrospect but very pathetic to say the least.

As much as I respect your opinion or apathy towards shit, I strongly want to remind you that it is your savior and has kept you alive all the days of your life not to talk about the numerous things it can help us achieve such as manure and for generating power. It also readily comes to us when we find ourselves in trouble because the first thing we say when caught up in awkward situations is ‘shit!’

Also in a related news, a neighbor committed suicide in my neighborhood because of shit. May his soul rest in peace. Apparently, the guy messed up himself up at work when he developed upset tummy at kantamanto Market where he works and his colleagues would not let him be. He couldn’t take the taunting any longer and decided to take his own life which is very sad.

My condolence to all the shit martyrs…. You lost it!