Thursday 26 July 2012

To wed or not to wed

It has become a trend or a norm and almost becoming compelling for married couples to engage in white weddings or sign court papers so as to bind each other legally just in case the unexpected happens as a result of the uncertain nature of mankind. if people are that unreliable as far as their emotions are concerned and can go off or change at any time, why then do they engage in a potentially endless drama by opting for that choice because i have come to realize that most is not about the marriage and the need for love and that lifetime companionship but are for their own selfish motives, so as to lay claim when the much dreaded situation sets in or to pursue alimony.

I want to believe that it is one of the never failing reasons why most marriages are not working lately, because the couples misbehave or do otherwise knowing they are legally bounded in a 'life and death' situation with their willing partners. It beats me why the law has to compel us to love when it's purely dependent on emotions and commonsense. The question i want to ask is, is the white wedding working even with the law in tow? 

I asked because it is has been observed that it is doing more harm than good to most newly wedded couples, in that, they get frustrated after going through what it takes to organize a white wedding of a sort. It takes so long a time for so many to regain their feet as they get so indebted to their sponsors, under whose auspices the wedding took place.

Some also are not able to deal with the psychological trauma or stress that comes with it and finally give in to the dictates of their mind; yes they become abnormal and in worst cases, become mad.

White wedding is so classy and colourful but is it worth what we go through to be named one of those? It has a story behind it and that story is, it's mostly suited for the westerners and does not perfectly fit for our culture because of the things we place our values on or what we deem appropriate.

All i am trying to say is that people have to be in love to marry, they must not be baited by whited weddings to lure them into something they are not really keen on just because they want to be hailed and cheered by their friends. You've got to be cut for it; you've got to do it because you can do it, not because you have to do it. That will be on the defensive and your nemesis will come calling soon after the guests are gone home and some of the chairs and tables broken on the lawn and paper packs scattered all over and if you were lucky, you would have been chauffeured out of the place on your way to your honeymoon.

In our society, it is evident that it is the ladies that force their men to wed them at the expense of our cherished and outstanding traditional marriage and at all cost. And sometimes, i wonder what it is with some of the men, they lack commonsense that they cannot tell that they cannot afford what the lady is asking for and reasonably talk her into something they both can afford and allows themselves to be led to the slaughter house. These white weddings have made it impossible for potentially suitable couples to marry thus going their separate ways only to give in to the one who can afford.

Unfortunately, it does not end with them, they go out there and pollute the minds of those who care to listen to their tales about how all men are not good and are the real devil incarnate and on the other hand, how all women should be killed under the sun. They make love look evil, they swear not to love again when they have never really loved before.


Let's access our capacity in terms of finance, psychology, maturity, simplicity and make choices within our means so as to limit the ripple effects of our bad choices and to help us enjoy happy marriage lives. Society has to let us know that it’s solely a matter of choice and not compulsory for everyone, the yet-to-marry and the yet-to-be married should also know that their choice remains theirs and not what people are going to think about them. Just be yourself!

2 comments:

moshi said...

I do admire ur thoughts. On point, specific n focus driven.

They make love look evil, .......when they have not loved before

FanTaxY said...

Thanks