The Untold Stories

They say its attitude, I say its perception!

I must admit most of my write ups are usually not for public consumption but somehow they find their way into the public domain. The need to keep at least those I deem inapt for the public is because they are laden with too many of my warped view of the world - my disappointments, dejection and rejections, gloomy moments and some little successes which are not detailed enough or anything worth highlighting. 

On the other hand, I think I can quickly hazard a few guesses why my subconscious still makes me publish some of these write-ups instead of keeping them to myself even against odds. Firstly, it’s because it makes a lot of sense to hide our valuables in plain sight which is rightly so because the more we look, the less we see. Chances are also that you may overly get used to it and probably write it off at your own peril.

Secondly, I think I have been using diaries incorrectly. I remember the good old days when it was fashionable to own one, year after year. The prestigious feel of either carrying the pocket sized ones along or coming back from the hustle to write in them. However I think I have outgrown writing in them.  I simply can’t make do with the care and security that comes with it any longer; the fear of someone unapproved reading my failures just yet. The handful bright moments and the fleeting aspirations, not to talk about the penchants and the wavering emotions as they delve into my innermost quietude without my consent or any interaction whatsoever. You can say I have become paranoid and you are right.

Thirdly, I think I want to be a part of the struggle. I want to hone my voice till it becomes loud enough to be heard. Keeping my muse to me is negative energy hence the need to contribute my quota. I am mostly aware of my limitations but I don’t see how it affects my efforts at trying. I can talk about the ease with which I can easily reach out rather than being sought for, the technological advancements, the new world order and what have you but unfortunately, it is not the import of this piece.

Sometimes, I think I talk too much but I always marvel at my invisibility anytime I take a trip through Twitter Avenue and Facebook Crescents. Herh! People can talk papa. The way they seemingly appear as all-knowing, having a thing or two to say about everything, professing theories and beliefs as though they are the second coming makes me think that we all talk too much. The only difference herein is how group dynamics affects our interaction and the way we tend to adapt. 

The difference thus affects what, where, when and how you choose to express your opinion or present your facts and the number of people you are willing to engage at a given time and still not losing sight of the fact that these interactions are somehow guided by (common) Laws.

There are so many things we don’t talk about especially in the public domain but feels comfortable talking about all day with a friend or two and I am confused as to which one is better. In same vein there are so many things I have not talked about publicly or at least with you. For Instance, I have not told you that I sometimes get disappointed when I remember all the numerous ladies, both young and old who used to call me My Husband when I was just a child. I have not told you that my dream of becoming an accomplished Musician is only short of someone believing in my potentials and giving me the platform to work on my lots, neither have I also told you that the dream is in limbo just because way back in 2008 when I met the then celebrated Jay Q, he insisted I sang in Twi which already had a Market against the backdrop of my (global) English stance in the quest of creating my own market. But If only I could  come across the people who produces and manages acts like D-Black, Asem, Nana Boroo, Akoo Nana, OJ Black, Tinny and other artistes of their ability, that singular dream could be realized easily but I am hanging in here and hoping…

Ever since I became privy to the fact that silence being golden does not mean it is gold in itself, I changed my mind - simply because the Gold fascinates me way pass the glow.  Yeah, that is the only enlightening thing about being enlightened. Changing your mind as and when new perspectives are illuminated. Going with the flow in a steady pace while still being mindful of the race.

They say life is short, live happily, cut yourself some slack, don’t be hard on yourself, don’t wallow in the past, develop an attitude, don’t complain, be thankful, say your mind, develop a sense of humor, start new things, go downtown or uptown (depending on which divide of town you reside) from time to time to acquaint with life there, eat healthily, Exercise a lot, dare to dream, laugh heartily, take vacations and capture bright moments but unfortunately, most of us are living contrary to this long list of what can make life thick and enjoyable for humans.

They have failed to prescribe another list of to-dos for those of us who are living far from this myth. They have failed to provide for those of us who can’t think past what to eat and where to sleep. The irony of working all day everyday yet can’t make ends meet juxtaposed against those who are working less of the time but have more to stash away simply because the former is touted as not working smart and other readily plausible explanations.

At least we could have a list that reads like, wake up before it is actually time to wake up or wake up even though you hardly slept, wake up to other noisy neighbors screaming at a stray animal or their children, work all day every day because it is good for your spiritual upliftment, eat less nutritional foods in messy surroundings, take selfies even though your face is wrinkled and your smile is wry, perpetually be inclined to the past, don’t save, refuse to have a sense of humor, don’t ever call over friends and family over to merry with you, have apathy for success, refuse to be a Socialite and at worst be a Masochist. We are obviously on our own.

We are continually faced with so many things to say – social issues no one cares about. These and many other issues which have become our untold stories simply because it does not put bread on anyone’s table, neither does it affect the price of kenkey.

There is so much to say but in the light of developing social trends, it is also worthy to note that some of our stories will forever be untold even though someone must hear us by all means necessary. And while at it, let us also be mindful that of all the things that can elude us, we have to steadfastly hold on to hope and positive self esteem in its right proportion lest you are declared the official douche bag of the Century.

Follow the writer on Twitter @vilejah

Beware, the truth can be destructive!

There is a saying that “it is better to feel lied to in the end than to doubt from the beginning” and probably mar everything for ourselves, but as defiant as human nature is, we easily settle on the latter option and I’m yet to understand why it has come to remain so. It’s amazing how we make the simple things the most complex puzzles ever and reduce the most complex puzzles to their barest minimum.

Why do we look so hard to find the truth?

What’s usually the motivation or we just journey on that destructive quest for its sake?

Maybe to prove in the end that we were all knowing right from the start and did not allow ourselves to be taken on a folly trip or just to feed our ego that, we really are smart.

Then, point proven and what next?

Sometimes, our mind takes us for a ride from time to time. With or without our concern, our minds play games on us and it’s time we stop taking it serious.

Have you made images from your mind come alive before? Then, quickly stare at a wall for quite a long time and your mind will start patterning dirt on the wall from hand imprints into images. And the kind of images that come alive depends solely on your experiences and also depends on the size of the area you have chosen to gaze at.

"Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it" - Andre Girde

Why do we see different things at different times or in other words, why do we see same things as different things at different times? Some say what we see is often dependent on our mood; how we feel at a given time, and I ask why our mood/feeling is not static? What alters our mood thus changing what we see?

If what we see is what becomes our truth and that truth is dependent on our mood, then it is logical to say that decision making is not left in the hands of the mind alone but our feelings too. To put it bluntly and simple, truth depends on what we see and how we feel. Our feeling determines what is right or wrong and what appears as the truth may not necessarily be the truth and vice versa.

Oftentimes, a flash of thought is all it takes to ignite our truth quest which makes us look until we bring out something that was already in existence or not. That transient thought becomes a clue that helps us put one and one together until the equation balances even in an unbalanced situation. When you dedicate time and look so hard, you are likely to find what you have set out to see.

The premise, which is often that flash of thought you perceived becomes the hypothesis to be proved or disproved e.g. ‘could my spouse be cheating on me?’, ‘has my friend being snitching on me?’ and you will be on your way to finding the truth or otherwise.

A couple of people have set out to find the ‘truth’ to be sure at all cost, which often has turned out destructive. and if you want to find out who people really are or find out what you don’t know, visit people unawares in their homes or your spouse at home without notice and chances are that, your perception about them might change or you just might hurt forever – and what will be the point in finding the truth?

Sometimes, we want to take lifelong decisions that are time-bound and dependent on the truth; the outcome of our research, so, we like to fast-forward our discovery pace only to end up ruining everything, leaving us without any decision to be made any longer.

A good story only makes meaning at the end of the tale, so trying to find out the truth before the end is by all means a recipe for confusion and abortion of the objective. Mostly, your expectation even comes to give you a misconstrued meaning of what the author of the tale wants you to know, example, most people in the world want to know if God and its related Judgement is real, even before they succumb to his grace and eventual worship by asking “have you been to heaven before?”, but it’s unfortunate they are on an endless quest because the end is not yet in sight and any truth thereof, may have come up out of their expectation and experiences.

Such people often appear upbeat about their own insecurity and appears immature and imprudent because prudence will tell you that the end justifies the means. They are the proverbial ‘Thomases’ of our time and would not commit into anything unless they know how the whole thing will turn out.

When you doubt people from the beginning thus eroding the trust element, you find it difficult to see the good in them and what they can do. You even sometimes impress upon them what they haven’t done and eventually suggest to them what they would have thought about in a thousand light years. It becomes difficult discarding your perception, and sometimes, which is mostly, it never works out.

The need to find the truth even when people haven’t given us a cause to, only goes to point that people are inherently distrustful and bad. It also goes to enforce the fact that, almost everyone has been betrayed once or twice in the past and are not letting down their guards any longer and where they refuse to let go, people will still find the truth on their behalf.

Finally, it is necessary that, we all stop marring the climax of our stories and situations by not wanting them too early yet in the life of the story, so that, after all is said and done, everything will fall in place and make meaning to us without influencing the outcome. The truth will definitely come and can only surface when it is time.

Fool's Paradise

Trying to demystify why ‘fools fall in love” is one of the endless pursuit a man can indulge himself in, which begs the question, why amorous love has so many negative inferences and connotations, among which are “love is blind”,  “at the touch of love, every man becomes a poet”, “love is not for the faint-hearted".

This makes me wonder if the supposed wise people do not have emotions that are aroused by the attractiveness of the opposite sex and the need to copulate or perhaps, they have a way of going about it, which does not have effect on their senses, because it looks like the more I do, the more I get lost and at this point, I can only rescind my fate and choose between being a fool or a wise person.

Sometimes, the import of all these negative inferences makes meaning when you look at it from a different perspective, which makes you smile and nod your head to these age old truisms as a form of approval. 

A fool according to an unknown source can be someone who lacks commonsense and intelligence and mostly, it is what we display any time love comes knocking on our door. It is very easy to appear a fool or actually do relatively foolish things for the one you love and in worse cases, defy all beliefs which hitherto were sacred to you, just to please that one special person.

Being a fool in the context of love is not necessarily acting up in the circus or has nothing to do with comedy. What it simply means is to be thinking with your heart which is sometimes referred to as following one’s heart.

The head is physical and logical and tries to put things in its right perspective according to the bearer’s level of intelligence and expectations while the heart is illogical and can only be felt. The heart does not think and cannot think. It doesn’t know what is right or not and does not conform to norms. All it exudes is emotions and lots of it. 

How often have you not been lost at sea when asked to explain why you love the one in your life?

Have often have you not rationalized why the one you are with is the best thing that has ever happened to you even though you know parts or the whole of your explanation is false?

How about the lies you discovered s/he told you and still you found a way to make her/him stay with that big heart of yours, not to talk about the physical abuse?

How often have you not asked friends and family to mind their own businesses because it’s your life and you could choose whom to love against all odds?

So, why did you lie to your friends and Employer about the bruises and scars s/he left on your skin if you were actually in your senses and thinking right?

Can these aforementioned and a lot more rhetoric of this nature be considered as someone in their right senses?

Unfortunately, the mind and heart fails to coordinate when an issue of love arises and each in its own right chooses a different path. It is also convenient to state that no one in his right senses can love because loving is for fools who suppresses or discard some of their right thoughts just to be with the one they meant to be with.

The head with a fanciful brain, sits up in its quietude to prepare a checklist as to who should own its heart but the heart just chances upon someone and tasks the fellow to own its head, thus betraying the head-heart relationship. The heart does not mind any other stimuli apart from what it perceives and further blinds its eye to all the reasoning his mind and that of others will give it. It is the heart that beats at the sight of our captors, and it is the heart that breaks when that person does something awful against us or exits out of our life.

Furthermore, love is one thing no one has monopoly over and can barely control, unless they retreat from that pursuit, because it reins everyone in and makes them fools at one point or the other and I am sure you can readily attest to letting go of some ideals and terribly compromising on some commonsense, just to ensure that something was done right.

Additionally, knowing that love relationship is a paradise for fools, can make most of us relax and make things work by not being rigid and too logical because love in itself does not make sense and you can bear out to my assertion if you probably have asked yourself once or twice in the past, why some people end up as couples whom in your opinion do not belong at all and the most familiar one by asking yourself, why you ever dated that Ex of yours.

Finally, it is prudent to follow your heart and make a fool of yourself by falling in love and possibly staying on than trying to find logic in everything your lover does to the extent of separating every two months you fall in love, because in such instances, it will be convenient to say that, the wise has rather become a fool by not dwelling in the fool’s paradise.