The Untold Stories

They say its attitude, I say its perception!

I must admit most of my write ups are usually not for public consumption but somehow they find their way into the public domain. The need to keep at least those I deem inapt for the public is because they are laden with too many of my warped view of the world - my disappointments, dejection and rejections, gloomy moments and some little successes which are not detailed enough or anything worth highlighting. 

On the other hand, I think I can quickly hazard a few guesses why my subconscious still makes me publish some of these write-ups instead of keeping them to myself even against odds. Firstly, it’s because it makes a lot of sense to hide our valuables in plain sight which is rightly so because the more we look, the less we see. Chances are also that you may overly get used to it and probably write it off at your own peril.

Secondly, I think I have been using diaries incorrectly. I remember the good old days when it was fashionable to own one, year after year. The prestigious feel of either carrying the pocket sized ones along or coming back from the hustle to write in them. However I think I have outgrown writing in them.  I simply can’t make do with the care and security that comes with it any longer; the fear of someone unapproved reading my failures just yet. The handful bright moments and the fleeting aspirations, not to talk about the penchants and the wavering emotions as they delve into my innermost quietude without my consent or any interaction whatsoever. You can say I have become paranoid and you are right.

Thirdly, I think I want to be a part of the struggle. I want to hone my voice till it becomes loud enough to be heard. Keeping my muse to me is negative energy hence the need to contribute my quota. I am mostly aware of my limitations but I don’t see how it affects my efforts at trying. I can talk about the ease with which I can easily reach out rather than being sought for, the technological advancements, the new world order and what have you but unfortunately, it is not the import of this piece.

Sometimes, I think I talk too much but I always marvel at my invisibility anytime I take a trip through Twitter Avenue and Facebook Crescents. Herh! People can talk papa. The way they seemingly appear as all-knowing, having a thing or two to say about everything, professing theories and beliefs as though they are the second coming makes me think that we all talk too much. The only difference herein is how group dynamics affects our interaction and the way we tend to adapt. 

The difference thus affects what, where, when and how you choose to express your opinion or present your facts and the number of people you are willing to engage at a given time and still not losing sight of the fact that these interactions are somehow guided by (common) Laws.

There are so many things we don’t talk about especially in the public domain but feels comfortable talking about all day with a friend or two and I am confused as to which one is better. In same vein there are so many things I have not talked about publicly or at least with you. For Instance, I have not told you that I sometimes get disappointed when I remember all the numerous ladies, both young and old who used to call me My Husband when I was just a child. I have not told you that my dream of becoming an accomplished Musician is only short of someone believing in my potentials and giving me the platform to work on my lots, neither have I also told you that the dream is in limbo just because way back in 2008 when I met the then celebrated Jay Q, he insisted I sang in Twi which already had a Market against the backdrop of my (global) English stance in the quest of creating my own market. But If only I could  come across the people who produces and manages acts like D-Black, Asem, Nana Boroo, Akoo Nana, OJ Black, Tinny and other artistes of their ability, that singular dream could be realized easily but I am hanging in here and hoping…

Ever since I became privy to the fact that silence being golden does not mean it is gold in itself, I changed my mind - simply because the Gold fascinates me way pass the glow.  Yeah, that is the only enlightening thing about being enlightened. Changing your mind as and when new perspectives are illuminated. Going with the flow in a steady pace while still being mindful of the race.

They say life is short, live happily, cut yourself some slack, don’t be hard on yourself, don’t wallow in the past, develop an attitude, don’t complain, be thankful, say your mind, develop a sense of humor, start new things, go downtown or uptown (depending on which divide of town you reside) from time to time to acquaint with life there, eat healthily, Exercise a lot, dare to dream, laugh heartily, take vacations and capture bright moments but unfortunately, most of us are living contrary to this long list of what can make life thick and enjoyable for humans.

They have failed to prescribe another list of to-dos for those of us who are living far from this myth. They have failed to provide for those of us who can’t think past what to eat and where to sleep. The irony of working all day everyday yet can’t make ends meet juxtaposed against those who are working less of the time but have more to stash away simply because the former is touted as not working smart and other readily plausible explanations.

At least we could have a list that reads like, wake up before it is actually time to wake up or wake up even though you hardly slept, wake up to other noisy neighbors screaming at a stray animal or their children, work all day every day because it is good for your spiritual upliftment, eat less nutritional foods in messy surroundings, take selfies even though your face is wrinkled and your smile is wry, perpetually be inclined to the past, don’t save, refuse to have a sense of humor, don’t ever call over friends and family over to merry with you, have apathy for success, refuse to be a Socialite and at worst be a Masochist. We are obviously on our own.

We are continually faced with so many things to say – social issues no one cares about. These and many other issues which have become our untold stories simply because it does not put bread on anyone’s table, neither does it affect the price of kenkey.

There is so much to say but in the light of developing social trends, it is also worthy to note that some of our stories will forever be untold even though someone must hear us by all means necessary. And while at it, let us also be mindful that of all the things that can elude us, we have to steadfastly hold on to hope and positive self esteem in its right proportion lest you are declared the official douche bag of the Century.

Follow the writer on Twitter @vilejah

Happy Mother's Day

It’s Mother’s day, and I couldn’t help but to join the fray to sing the most popular chorus trending everywhere, especially on social media to wish all deserving Mothers a “Happy Mother’s day”

Honestly, I think some Mothers deserve every bit of this attention and care we dote on them on Mother’s Day, every day of their lives while some are in deficit of the “Happy Mother’s day” accolade because they can only be best described as conduits through which these children made entry into this world.

A female should at least bear a child or two to be called a ‘Mother’ but the real test of Motherhood begins soon after delivering the first child (for those who don’t stop at one). However, the way some Mothers train and bring up their children leaves much to be desired. It discourages some yet-to-be mothers and other mothers alike. It simply leaves a sour taste in the mouth of society.

We hear instances of Mothers dumping babies at dump sites, in gutters, suffocating their babies to death and practically disposing their babies into death’s cold icy hands. They careless and gives you the impression that, the whole idea of carrying a nine month old pregnancy was/is a joke, however on such a day, I would like to tackle the root problem that makes women act this cold and insensitive to the very foetus they nurtured in their bellies for nine months not to talk about those who resort to abortion.

The root problem of all these pockets of barbaric stories we hear in our society is as a result of the behavior of Men. It is sad to note that the cause of all these are MEN. It is rightfully so, because for every pregnancy a woman conceives, a man is responsible but many of these men only manage to shift  all the responsibility that comes with the pregnancy and the eventual childbirth phase. These actions and more frustrate these so-called mothers who resort to all kind of actions just to get even or move on.

It must be debilitating for a young woman in retrospect to recall all the times, promises and the raunchy times she shared with a/her man only to be told in the face to go and look for the one responsible for her pregnancy. This alone is enough to poison the mind of the lady who would be left with so many options, of which she has no idea about to choose from, and your guess is as good as mine. She is predisposing herself to danger which can intend make the situation more dangerous.

Living in this society of ours where a man has to be responsible for a pregnancy, failure to name the one responsible for yours comes with a stigma so many people fight tooth and nail to discard. You are called all sorts of names as if the woman had sex with herself. Some are sent away from school and shamed in public and in most of these cases, supposedly responsible men in the eyes of the society are responsible for this acts.

Why is it so difficult for society to remember that men are usually responsible for these pregnancies and must be taken on, rather than the neglect and dejection they mete out to these ladies? The denial of responsibility for these pregnancies by men further worsen the cases of these ladies, because, in some cases, their family washes off their hands off them for dragging the name of the family into the mud and all of these and its rippling effect incapacitates them thus subjecting them into poverty, inadequate ways of living and inability to take care of themselves and the pregnancy, let alone the unborn child.

All a woman requires to thrive in such circumstances is support, love and care to nurture her pregnancy and the unborn child but lack of it can subject them to all kind of things, some of which can be disgusting, appalling and detrimental to herself and any dependent. 

Some of these women who brace the storm against all odds to bring these children up only succeed in nurturing children who become resentful towards them for the lack of a father figure who should be around to build character in these children through discipline and responsibility.

Men must be responsible in helping finish what they initiated with the women so that on a day like this, all women can be worthy of praise for bringing up children who without father issues. Every Child deserves to be brought up by the parents regardless of the situation that befalls them and it is the only way we can have a healthy society full of good mothers who will all be worth celebrating.

Meanwhile, I would like to use this medium while appealing to men to stop shirking responsibility for what they are responsible for wish all Mothers a “Happy Mother’s day”