And the Media rested Aliu in Pieces...

As someone who multitasks between my everyday schedule and surfing the internet, specifically Twitter and Facebook, I was thrown into a state of shock when I logged on again after a five minute switch from the internet, only to be flooded all over with the sad and pathetic news of the Ex-Vice President Aliu Mahama’s untimely demise which never was.

All I could do was pout my mouth in an ‘oh’ shape and then join the bandwagon that was sharing the bad news even before I am made to feel like I am some light years behind information. I had to also prove that I was privy to timely information and it’s even sadder to note that, it is what we all did.

It’s alright and pardonable because that is how we share information lately, from people on our timelines who also copy  or read from other people on their timeline and the rest also source it directly from  credible websites such as Peace FM’s, Joy FM’s, Citi FM’s and other ones you can find around, coupled with the fact that we are not journalists, but what is unpardonable is when licensed and accredited media houses and journalists go virile with unfounded and incredible news which can best be described as a rumour.

I don’t think anyone needs a week introductory course in Journalism to establish the fact that common sense should guide anyone or authorized institutions with mandates to report accurate and timely news to its listenership and I would also like to tell all media houses who did not apply commonsense in the dissemination of a rather sensitive information such as this one, to bow their heads in shame and render unqualified apology to the Ex-Vice President’s family and the rest of Ghana as a whole for leading us on a wild goose chase because it was and still is heartbreaking.

They got everyone confused as you saw people going back and forth on which of the information was right; if he was really dead or still alive on life support. There was a section that had started expressing their condolences to the family and Ghana as a whole for losing another illustrious son and a section who was eulogizing him, not to talk about the ones chronicling all the bad things that had befallen our dear nation as they mention the death of the Late President Atta Mills, the Melcom tragedy and a section that was praise singing yet another prophecy come true of the Prophet T.B. Joshua.

It is a shame for a media house to engage in sensationalism without precision. Everyone was in a rush to break the mortal news so as to be given thumbs up without verifying the credibility of the news and ascertaining its veracity. Then you are tempted to beg the question, how did they get the information? Some news that can be retracted and sleeping dogs coaxed to go back to sleep but the death of a no mean person than an Ex-President; I think the media houses should have known better. How can we take them serious again? How can we tell another time if it’s one of their whims they were satisfying?

This same thing happened to the Late Asomdwehene until he finally gave up his soul, because he was tired fighting the media, as to if he was alive or not. He was reported dead severally when he was still alive and you are tempted to ask yourself, what would these people gain if he really was dead? Why are they quick to report sad news anyway? Smart chaps, innit?

The media and their overseers being the GJA must sit up and let the right sanctions be meted to those who are culpable of this gaffe and subsequent ones in the future. It is so because some mistakes cannot be accepted. Can you imagine if a mistake of such magnitude was replicated in medicine or Electoral Commission? That is why heads must roll when the fourth arm of the government, the units that have been tasked and equipped with resources to disseminate accurate information does contrary to their preamble, they shouldn’t go scot free.

Apart from their subjective and selective approach too real issues, their banner headlines too are usually worlds apart from what the news really is. Their misrepresentation of information just to appeal to the emotions of the people for their gains has become too much and this should teach them a lesson that we are tired of being taken for granted. 

It is easier for us to enjoy all the talks, but it is time we encourage and demand that the whips are cracked on anybody who does not act responsibly because it is becoming a canker eating into all facets of our Public and private institutions and somebody has to make them responsible for both their rights and wrongs.

On this note, I would like to wish the family of the Ex-President to stay strong and pray for him because the nation is behind them in prayers too and lastly, may he survive this bout in the name of the most High God. Somebody say Amen!

Desperadoes

“Ei Araba, your guy hasn’t called o”

“Oh, why hasn’t he called?”

“I should be the one asking you”

“Are you sure he hasn’t?”

“No! He hasn’t, when did he say he will call?”

“He should have called by now because he said so”

“Then let’s wait for his call or you’d rather give me his number?”

And that is the height of desperation, depicted in a conversation going on between two female friends possibly waiting for a call from a third party who obviously is a man. It has become commonplace for people to ask their friends to connect them to one of their friends. Yes, they want their friends to introduce a friend of theirs to them, someone they could have intimate relationship with or maybe love.

We are a chain of people; each of us interrelating with the other, making it plausible for us to meet other people through our family and friends but I think it is way over board when we are just willing and have consented to meet any person that comes our way.

There are people we dislike upon sight without any premeditation and there are people we like so much that, even if all it takes is to hiss to get their attention and wave at them and that makes us feel good. There are times we even carry images of them about until something comes to interfere our thought process.

It is evident that chemistry between people cannot be necessarily enforced by a third party who usually is a mutual friend or someone we admire, that is why when people are fed up in a relationship, no amount of mediation and intervention by third parties are able to bring them together. Remember it takes only two to tango. Friendship or relationship should best be left between the two people involved to nurture, rather than allowing or leaving it in the hands of a third party we often refer to as a betweener.

Relationship building has become herculean these days that so many people are devising different strategies to be enlisted in the realm of relation shippers while some are totally giving up on the search. Even though there are no hard and fast rules to having a relationship with someone, methinks there are ideal ways, and one is to kind of meet the person or to have seen at least a photo of the person before expressing interest in them but the new thing in vogue is to contact a friend you like to connect you to one of their friends without having a glimpse of what they even look like.

A typical example is when a man, Kwame approaches his female friend, Ama to introduce him to one of her friends just because he thinks his friend, Ama is a cool headed girl or where a female; Akua approaches her friend John to introduce her to one of his friends because she likes John. Then the guy calls one of his friend who is usually the most troublesome and he goes like…

 “Charley, I get girl for you o”

“Ehn, u sure? What be in name? she dey bee?”

“Buh you, abi you know say I no be yawa”

“I know you, so what’s up?”

And they’ll go on and on in that manner, but why do they seem so excited? Perhaps they have been through it before and it works both ways. You realized that none of them seemed interested in who the other is even before the meet. They are certain that they will know later, for now, all they want to do is quickly meet and start the shagging fest. Most people who look for partners that way are just people who are not interested in any long term relationship, they don’t look forward to any commitment or whatsoever and only want another avenue they can easily get sex.

Life is a big enterprise and the risk involved can be disastrous to our psyche, thus self-esteem but risking it all is like jumping off a flight without a parachute. What happened to everybody on your timeline? Your place of work, where you fellowship, your neighborhood and other social places? How come you don’t fancy any of them, let alone risk a try? There must be something wrong with you.

Some people feel good about the fact that they have put two people together but only one out of ten works on a very good day so why bother anyway. Some also like to know what’s in for them thus attracting a fee or a form of capital appreciation thus resulting in borderline pimping and that’s not so good for your reputation either.

Friendship hinges on so many things and that goes beyond asking a friend to just connect you to one of his or her numerous friends even though you don’t have much to lose. Sometimes, it works for those who have same things in common and at other times, it works for those who are at the extreme ends of the scale.

It is often good when the two people involved meets on their own, accidentally or planned and strikes a communication which may take the form of stealing glances at each other, striking a conversation and any attempt at being noticed by the other but the other smacks of too much desperation. Can’t you be single for a while until that emotion is ignited in you by someone you actually like?

If you are bent on having someone in your life at all cost, just follow those friends on outing sprees, ask them if you can come with them and if there is a friend of theirs to meet, you will meet and if it will work out or not, you can determine. Because fact that you like your friend doesn’t mean s/he will have friends you will like and it doesn’t mean you can have friendship with their friends.

There are people who register with agencies for the same purpose but that would be a topic to discuss some other time. It is very necessary that we are responsible for our own relationships because it is only us that know what we actually want, rather than what they think we want. Go out there and look for your own spouse and be up to it; make it work and stop asking your friends to connect you to their friends, it only makes you desperate!

Sefakor #TheCross#

Growing up with a single mother, she saw different Uncles popped up at random, Uncles she just saw once, Uncles that kissed her mom in the sofa and those who even beat her in front of her and it was debilitating. Her mum was torn between keeping her man and being a mother to her child. As emotionally wrecked as she was, she lost the battle between her man and her. They call it keeping a man. 

It was especially difficult because she was quite a smart girl who knew what she wanted right from the inception of time. Even though her Mum’s boyfriend was a bully and always wanted his way, the boring eyes of her makes him uncomfortable. He taunted and schemed against her every day until he finally made sure she left home after several unsuccessful rape attempts

Her mum was the new generational type who would not opt for the pillow when a man can warm her bed. She was tired of moving on; she was just tired of this man business. Life was not easy being alone in this world. Had it been easy, her father would not have become a rolling stone. He would not have been on the run. They all went through it; after all she would go through it too. In their time, they were asked to move on, they were even punished corporally but try caning your own child now and you would have to be looking through the yellow pages for the best lawyer in town. You have been charged with child molestation and abuse and getting a hearing already.

Her mum looked on as her live-in boyfriend molested the child even for offenses she didn’t commit. She thought her mother was a piece of work to act like nothing was going on. 

She did not have the chance to enjoy childhood. The little girl in her was trapped in there, everything died and the only thing that was left with her was just to increase the tally in age. She felt sorry for the world that she even cautioned the world mentally to stay off her case. She could hurt the world for making her become a shadow of herself, for looking on while she turned a destitute. 

She fought with gun wielding men out there, fought with other women just to hook up a client and she did all for survival. She needed to survive and that means rent, schooling, feeding, clothing and all. She stayed away from drugs despite the level of exposure. She decided to keep a clean head so she could be able to complete school. She was determined to climb the social ladder and probably get to sit on top of Maslow’s apex someday.

Life was one bad situation after another. She had no one to talk to; everybody was a stranger to her. Her own mum did not believe her for five continuous years when she was always supporting her boyfriend against her, so why would she think that someone out there was willing to believe her. At most, they will only express their sympathy to you and make you feel helpless but she was too strong than that. She doesn’t need anyone coaxing her to take a step a day at a time. They were just mantras and clichés. She stopped crying the day she was sent away from home by her mum’s boyfriend as her mom looked on without saying a word. She saw it coming.

She adopted the pussy power in many situations and it worked for her. It’s a natural force women have used since the dawn of time. She’s made many men become part of the statistics because she had to be crafty and straight on, in getting what she wants. She needed to make it; she deserved the chance to be educated like any other child. It was the only way she can put her cynics to shame. She wanted to go back to the community not because she had a home or to show off, but because a piece of her has been buried there. That was where her go-gay life ended and it did, the very day her Mom’s last boyfriend; her claimed Uncle came through their door. She deplored the pussy power when employment slots were limited, in getting an undeserved favour and getting her way through where men matters. Men will always fall to the fairer sex and it’s been like that since the days of Adam.

Sometimes, she got what she wanted without necessarily giving sex. She was not ridiculously hot; she still was a decent girl with lots of ambitions. All she needed, to have things playing her way mostly, is to be nice. She didn’t have her own definition of what grace is and did not have any mentor to look up to so she decided to work from within. She decided not to compromise on her ambitions and keep her head up and to work on her inner self to boost self-esteem, the very and only weapon she figured out she needed to survive and to also get what she wanted.

Apart-Ment

We are now in a system where you have to thoroughly and continually sign a declaration because our words are no more enough. Our words have become irrelevant borne out of our inconsistency as a people. It is usually a declaration of intent or assets by all means necessary. This declaration is commonly signed by verbal, visual, gesture, posture and other communicative means such as raised eye brow, a shrug, indifference, speech, a nod, a smile and what have you.

It is no longer good and appropriate to say i love you to anyone apart from the one you are intimately involved with. Anything short of that requires a declaration; you have to set yourself apart from the word. When a guy says i love you, he has to quickly declare his intent by saying no homo. When a guy hugs another one, a stander-by is hasty to ask, are you gays? Since when did we become that distrustful, that, we can’t take things as they are? But I don’t blame society because it is our own doing. We are slimy, dishonest, vicious, and creepy.

Our tendency to lie, please ourselves at the expanse of the other, be weakened in the face of temptation, inability to uphold our resolve and our inclination to immorality, have become the basis for this trend of development.

It is no longer casual to say it the way you see it. We are different people with different opinions, world views and definitely outlooks, but when you say your mind, you have to declare your intent by quickly adding up no hating. That’s funny right? Got me laughing too.

Personally, I owe no one accountability and will not indulge in it until it becomes a crime punishable by law. I will say I love you to my fellow man and will not declare my intent until I’m probably probed. I will still hug my friend and will not look around if people were watching. Have we become such perverted that every action of ours has to be connoted sexually?

It is not as bad as it is. The world is not gone gay, whoever the conspirators are, are just playing with our minds by flooding us with it. We see them everywhere and then we tend to think that everyone is doing it. Even though most say, write or act it unconsciously, they fall within the statistics that is propagating the declaration concept and that’s not good.

When you meet a nice girlfriend in the company of your lover, you have to be tact with words and be spot on, one awkward move and you are in trouble, you will have to set yourself apart at the appropriate time. Your girlfriend thinks every girl who smiles at you knows the size of your penis likewise every guy thinks any guy who feels cool around his girlfriend have had a nice head therapy.

It’s true that we are all fallible but can we do our minds some good by focusing them on the right things? Why would you begin thinking about the relationship two grown men share when one says I love you? Even if the pun was intended, why don’t you mind your business? Why are you on standby waiting for me to declare no homo?

We usually say I love you when we are overwhelmed by people or persons who are dear to us, so why the unnecessary drama if I happen to say I love you or hugs someone in the euphoric moment? Let’s stay cool and allow people to go about their everyday lives. Let’s give them the benefit of the doubt hoping that karma will definitely bring the news to our doorsteps sometime soon, given that our trust was taken for granted.

The Build-up #TheCross#

“What if I don’t feel bad?’

“It’s your life, do what you want to do with it, the world is watching”

“I’m sure, we can figure something out”

“That was easier said but honestly, I’m losing it and fast”

“We can always fix everything by sheer will”

“This is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard”

“Then, you are not hearing what I’m saying”

“Sefakor! Sometimes there’s just no way, get with the program”

He was ready to make it work but it was not working. Maybe the love theory is based on compromise. Compromise is intangible and relatively subjective. He was willing to totally give in and that will be his measure of compromise. He wouldn’t have to worry living with the guilt of shedding off his identity, hanging on his head like the sword of Damocles. He had no identity to start with, so there was nothing to fight for. He was yet to create one with her, and that’s what he’s been up to. It was his decision to make; it was his to determine when much was too much. It’s his decision to make and that is how willing he was to compromise; in fact, only that much cooperation can make him feel good. Make believe was a commonplace in his life. 

He always looked at relationship from his perspective without considering other factors. He oversimplified it and made it sound so easy. His premises are always on point but they sound funny because they don’t apply in the world he finds himself in; maybe it was only feasible in his Utopia.

He doesn’t want to learn the ways of the world, being normal is overrated. He simply wants to be able to do whatever he wishes to do. It is the soul that yearns for things and it is just right and appropriate that the soul gets what it wants and anything short of that is not living, it’s merely an existence. And in a bid to live, he has to pursue what he wants and even overtake himself.

With him, every road led to his destination since he’s not privy to the blue-print governing and guiding his life. Thinking about an alternative was wishful thinking, something that has never worked. It’s usually the basis for asking the what if question, which also happens to be the most dangerous question one can indulge in. Just like anyone, he was continually faced with choices and to the best of his knowledge; he made the most rational choices. It couldn’t get better since he was not the only one in the struggle. People do not decide to get bored; they just get bored, so he had no business having a purpose in life, after all every road led to his destination; his destiny.

He did not plan to love because it was just bound to happen. You cannot plan to meet your wife at the mall, in school or at church or on your way to work, at most you will meet a lot of women and men but zeroing in on one doesn’t come with planning. He did not have a checklist, nothing to tick off but he was right about her when they met. Checklist was for the weirdos; the ones with one kind of psychological disorder, outlining their turn-offs and turn-ons and what appealed to them even before going out of the four corners of their rooms. Well, you can never get the picture that way.

Nobody plans where and who to love but how to love was entirely one’s own business and he was keen on growing the enterprise; the only woman who loved him without asking what he was, the only woman who loved him without conditions. Even if there were conditions, they’ve not been spelt out yet. He wanted to see himself work at this relationship because Sefakor meant the world to her even though she came with her flaws. She was practically the only friend he had, the only one who listens to him through and the only one he allowed into his world.

Developments in the last few months was coming between them and breaking them apart faster than a fall off from a cliff. He tries to think about how it all began but all the time, his thoughts gets derailed into what they have been, could be and what the reality actually is. He was afraid of becoming a Captain of an empty ship again because he could tell from the shadows on the wall that the sun was setting. Setting and leaving behind long trails of shadows and the thought of it alone breaks his heart.

His life, he could ruin but he could not bear to ruin the life of another person, let alone Sefakor’s. He did not want to see them apart so he says the right things to her, and does anything she wants and that made them a perfect couple most of the times.

Hitherto Sefakor stepping on the scene and sweeping him off his feet, he kept a lot of sex magazines in his drawer which he watched from time to time. He fantasizes about them pulling down their panties and lying in his bed or the couch but they never do. He sometimes went to the sex joints where he satisfied his ludicrous desire but now, he was a man above all kinds of sexual temptations. His sexual proclivity could be described as a progressive one; from gentle and tender to rough and tough because he had to break off from the bad habit and transit into having real sex even though they like to dignify it by referring to it as love making.

His world now revolves around her and no one else. All other women have lost this sex appeal. She wasn’t the sweetest girl in the world but if it comes to a long term affair, you don’t need the sweetest person. You need someone who sways between sweet and affliction. She was very unpredictable and the unchained type that makes his adrenaline rush. How else can he survive it if it was blissful, simple and above all monotonous and nothing and everything to expect at the unexpected time?  And that was how come he knew they were meant to be.  They were different sides to one coin, each complimenting the other.

They both knew that being in an intense relationship does not necessarily mean they were in love. Sometimes, it’s just because they can’t keep their hands off each other. Sometimes, he wishes to give an excuse and walk away or give her a chance to see other people but he knew her destiny was kind of bound to Sefakor and he was going to do it right somehow. 

Kenai has been reading about women since he realized their relationship was falling on rocks and has come to conclusion that he’s gotten Sefakor figured out but it was still not working per his expectations. He didn’t know where he was headed to, maybe he has an idea but he is cork sure what he was running away from and was not willing to even slowdown. He sometimes wishes life was really a game so that all he could do was to press the reset button but he had no such option here. His life was getting upheaved.