The Looming Storm #The cross#

“You have changed; you don’t seem the same person”  

“I am the same person; I just noticed a few things”

“What the hell is your problem?”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now”

“You don’t seem very happy”

“Am I happy at all, have I ever been happy?” he said and grimed

Kenai has never done well in relationships and life as a whole. He has not really been able to sustain any meaningful relationship, that is if he’s had any. The few he tried never went past the acquaintance stage and he knew he had some kind of problem. Yes, he had a problem and it’s the fact that, he was able to spot good women from afar but could not make them work for him. He actually needs a woman in his life as much as he needed the air but he felt he was well without one. Being without one mostly was just a facade to veil his broken self and he only ventured if he had the time and space to put up.

His only and current relationship was borne out of the fact that his clock was ticking and his curiosity to find out what actually kept people in it, made him embark on this journey. He was running out of time and needed some companionship. He doesn’t know how the relationship was going to be of help to the lady involved but he has a need and has to feed. He was in his middle age and was getting afraid of developing gay tendencies and eventually becoming a loser, so he was trying to clutch at just anything that comes his way.

 He has never been out there in pursuit of a woman, no, he has no preference and never thought about that. He even wonders, why some men make so much fuss about who is good for them, even without relating with the fellow. He was not the type to go looking out there for a woman; he was too good for that, not when women abound in every nook and cranny, women outnumbering men in all spheres of life except in governance. It was trivial to him anyway. Every woman is a woman and the difference lies in the men. The ability to choose what suits you; the one that could adapt to you is the differentiating factor. He believed in his sense of judgement and knew he was going for his Yin. The only thing that mattered was when to strike.

Kenai wanted to be ready before he engaged someone. He doesn’t want to be emotionally immature and absent-minded when the Queen of his heart finally gets chosen but life happens, so it happened to him.  Awkward as it may seem, they met at a pub the first time. They accidentally bumped into each other and they both looked awfully sorry, each of them drowned in their own problem but looking into each others eyes and their gaze softened. He smiled coyly at her, but she was indifferent.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” she quizzed.

And instead of answering her question, he smiled and it was the smile that warmed her heart.

“You are cute, I like you but I recently got out of a bad relationship” she revealed

He was amazed at her assertiveness and instinctively believed that they were going to at least embark on a journey, even if there’s no destination in sight. The realization that he was going into a relationship again alone gave him transient jitters.

“I just got out of a lot of relationships and I promise you that I’ll love you if you promise to fall in love with me” he offered with some kind of seriousness that revealed his cute facial features.

She was awed by his response. She felt the words were candid and also sensed pure honesty. She would always go for honesty, because what she lacked in her previous relationships, which always ended up in her being used and abused all the time. It was too easy for her to fall in love because she believes in people and also believes each of them has some good in them. The words were too good to be true. She did not hesitate to promise and they fell in love instantly and that night would become the first time he ever made an entry into Tickles without tasting any alcohol and for the first time in his adult life, he felt, content, matured and happy.

He was a regular at Tickles, his favorite pub. It was only a favorite because it was the only pub he could afford and out of proximity, it became the only one he patronized. Chances are that any customer who visits Tickles at least twice a week knows Kenai.  Apparently, both of them had come to drown their high end sorrows away but ended up signing a pact to a new life.

A new life of love, lust, confusion, lost identity, joy, sadness, illusion, anger and what have you. Life is a lot more than death and it happens to everyone. It was just a matter of time and he will be served. That understanding of life made things quite easier. He was only taken aback because he least expects them, when they happen. Every fortune or otherwise that comes his way was part of the life he was living, that is why it happened. He believes that everything happens for a reason. How else would the divine plan fall in place? As far as he was concerned, no one volunteers to be a victim, it just happens.

“You never tell me anything. Either I figure it out or I get hit by its effects. You are everywhere except here. You have never had time for this relationship” she squealed out.

“How can you be this ridiculous, me, never had time for this relationship, is it an enterprise anyway? He replied her with a pitch higher than his normal voice.

“You never disappoint! This is what you say every time” she said as she woke up from the sofa, where she sat that morning, towards the Bedroom room.

“Just like you, who can’t let a day slip by without nagging, I am even tired of you”

She suddenly stopped in her tracks, spun round and looked at him for a while.

 “Since when did you realize this sad aspect of our relationship?” she inquired with a far away look in her eyes.

“Since you started over-protecting and making me feel like I couldn’t be my own man” as he looked intently at a pattern on the wall left there by dirt and to avoid her gaze.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I didn’t want you to feel bad’

“So, why are u telling me now?”

“Because I want you to feel bad”.

21st Century!

How bad is it to say that, 21st Century is synonymous with Mortuary,
When almost every wall is hoisted with an Obituary?
Sad news befall us through February to where it started; January
Human pursuits are so insatiable and open-ended like an estuary
Disregard for Contemplative lives and the ones spent in the Sanctuary
And the systems; so predictable like the study of actuary

 

How bad is it to say that, the order of the day is Facebook and twitter?

As though it hasn’t made many a lives bitter

The generation getting smarter over sweeter

Where many will choose being a Shoplifter than a typesetter

And the Conspiracy theory rages on, making sure everything clutter

Hence the need to look before you leap because not all gold will glitter

How bad is it to say that, many will choose being on Flickr than being a seeker?

When they take delight in hailing the joker over the thinker

Choosing a trafficker any day over the civil worker

Lines visibly and legibly drawn as days gets darker

Breeding torrents of casualties as people gets weaker

And any meek in the struggle might just seek a Caretaker

The Cross!!

He woke up exactly at seven O’clock in the morning to a room lit with the rising of the morning sun from the East. Anything about the East intrigued him and he had few reasons why it has come to stay like that. The realization dawned on him several years ago when he found out that, the three men who had come to visit Jesus Christ upon his birth came from the East and nowhere particular. Both Far East and Near East with their sandwiched adjective, the Middle East is predominantly ancient and throughout history, they have been a major part of world news and home to many religions. They have wealth; they have some rich cultures and some of the richest and wise Kings ever.

He stepped out of bed, sauntered to the low framed windows. He pushed the drapes aside and was blinded by the high rise morning sun, that, he had to shut them quickly. He walked into the big living room and the TV was on from last night. The Politicians were on again, ably assisted and guarded by the Hostess; one beautiful damsel who doubles as the Operations Manageress of Live Tube, the number one leading Television Station of the nation. He walked on, behind the lined sofas to the kitchen which was across his room.

The last time he went to that part of the house was last week. He was not the type to indulge in food that much. He was more of a man on the run than the one who sits and eats. He was the epitome of junk food. He considered all of that as superficial; after all, man shall not live by bread alone but by the word. He often wondered the exact word the Bible was always talking about, since he had no particular word in mind.  He loved the word all the same and equipped with a couple of the bible verses, simply because it partially served his interest.

He was selective with the verses and he knew by rote those that served his interest. They formed part of his defense mechanisms and he knows just when to use them. All he had to do was to rationalize the situation and diffuse the severity until you even start feeling guilty for tenaciously believing in your stance or for being harsh on him.

He walked to the fridge at one end of the room, where the kitchen cabinet ended. There were some groceries in the coolant at the bottom of the refridgerator, left there by his girlfriend who lives an hour drive away from Amidede Town. He brought the container out and started picking up the items after the other. He hand-picked one big, ripe tomato, a bulb of green pepper, onion and placed them on the cabinet.

He needed to smoke so he went back to his bedroom, where he had left his pack of King Size fags. He picked up the container; hit the bottom of the pack with flair, making the cigarette pop up with some kind of mastery as if it’s on cue. He then reached out for his clothes he had left on the floor the night before, and brought out a lighter. He placed the butt on his lips, as he lighted the other end of the thin, aesthetic carcinogenic cigarette and walked out.

He puffed out a thin trail of smoke into the air, like nobody’s business, as he stylishly inhaled and exhaled through his pouted lips. It was time to prepare breakfast.

He placed the burning cigarette into an ash tray and then started to chop the vegetables into a couple of sizeable slices, and emptied them into a bowl. He reached out for three eggs from the shelf and cracked them for the contents. The yolk was yellowish, with a lot of whites; just how he likes it. He mixed the sliced vegetables with the whites and the yolk and then, whipped the mixture reasonably.

Using a small pan, he started frying the egg. When the egg turned brown, he spooned hot butter on top of it as it fried. The melted butter cooked through and became solid, yet tender and was ready to eat after a while. He has just prepared one of his favorite recipes his girlfriend has taught him, called, the Perfect Sunny-side-up Egg.

He was done with the first part of the cooking; now it was left with the oatmeal to match. The only time Oatmeal mattered was in the morning and that’s certainly the time he loves eating it. It was low in cholesterol and reduces the risk of heart diseases and these would be the two attributes that necessitated his like for the Oatmeal.

He prepared the food and over-turned all the hot meal into a bowl, since there was no need to scoop it. He added some sugar to the food and lots of honey as toppings on the oatmeal, and then he packed all the food and his ash tray of cigarette onto a bigger tray and headed towards the living room to watch these politicians make mockery of themselves.

He knows a lot of people respects and takes them serious, but to him, they were just another con version, stratified at the citadel of the four-one-nine Conglomerate and a persona non-Grata, because that was what he perceived himself to be, through their lenses, and why not? If he mattered, he won’t be fingered on the straw mat and left there all alone by himself to finish what they both have initiated. To him, it smacks of insensitivity and disregard for a fellow homo and he has since severed their relationship. He doesn’t know, if staying single or dating was the better among the two options but he was cork sure that he will always stay single as far as his relationship with the Politician was concerned.

He placed the food on the center-table and slumped into the sofa and began biting into the bread. He usually does not eat breakfast for one reason or the other. He either is in a hurry to nowhere or hasn’t woken up until after midday, from his numerous night outs which is like every day. Sometimes, there were no ingredients to cook with and he doesn’t care, but if he was going to cook, he tries to eat well.

He ate with relish because it was a long time since he ate anything like that and that would be the only meal he would have, except something miraculous happens. He doesn’t have too many friends and does not get under unnecessary pressure to please someone. It has taken him much effort to attain this independence, carved out of this chaotic world, where people assume mastership over you without your consent and make you believe them as if they believe themselves any more than you do.

He did not have much to do and sat there smoking his world as if his very life depended on it. He’s read and knows all about the side-effects of the excessive smoking habit but he couldn’t care less. Why should he care when he will die all the same even if he ended up as a monk. Life was a phase and a fluid one and he does not compromise on his penchants and beliefs. It was getting him nowhere but he was going nowhere and he lived a moment at a time.

#excerpts of 'The Cross'