We make so much noise about love
and hardly talk about lust and that is a fact! We relegate lust to the
background at the expense of love; meanwhile the latter is just a medium
through which we subtly or consciously express our lust.
We like to lie to ourselves to
deepen the mystery simply because it makes us feel good about ourselves. It is
even assuring to think of ourselves as important in other people’s lives by continually
reminding ourselves that they love us when we don’t even know what their
definition of what love really is. We don’t know what people mean by love
because love is intangible and relative according to each other’s experiences
and expectations but we all can at least define lust and get it right. For
instance, most relationships that first went through the bedroom before ending
up in marriage had a lusting factor attributed to them. That is not love, it was
lust expressed through love and other attachment deficiencies…
We consciously or unconsciously lust
with so many people without an iota of love. That intense feeling we conceive
when we see and feel attracted to people from the opposite sex. The aura and
the attraction of their alluring persona which activates our pervasive minds to
quickly or slowly undress and have sex with them in different ways; ways we
cannot even make manifest even if we are given a comfortable turf to make it
happen.
Society kind of abhors those who explicitly
talks about sex and even label them as perverts while dwelling on love because we as a people without a
doubt feels comfortable talking about the things we don’t understand and can
actually speak of.
How do you love someone and still
cheat on them whether it only entailed flirts, kissing and sex itself? How then
do people agree to derive or give sexual favors and still claim, they don’t
love them or are just friends with benefits? Again, how does too much or lack of
sex constraints a relationship that is built on love and I have heard people praise pink lips unend and all these do not qualify as love in my opinion. I have heard folks say and
do all kinds of things that set your mind thinking what really the deal is?
At this juncture, I think it is
even safe to say love is just an idea because we only have an idea of what it is
or should be while lust is the real deal because certainly, a sample of five
people defining love will result in
five different definitions whereas same cannot be said for lust simply because
the latter is factual and precise.
Consequently, most people have indulged
in sex without openly discussing it for once except being equipped with all the
hazy and wrong notions about what love is, which eventually lands them in rock-strewn
arenas - getting both wrong.
My bother however is why we like
to relegate the pervasive and fundamental ideas that wholly make us while cloaking
ourselves with ideas that are not sustainable and substantial to say the least
and where do we draw the fine line between love and lust? Thus far, if we all
cannot have one simple definition for what love is or should be just like lust,
then no one has the moral rights to actually advise or coax another to love
their way.
And just so you know, what people
mean when they express their love for you is “aside everything you know and
think about love, can we have sex?” and this subtle means of expressing our
lustful desire is not going to stop anytime soon until we as a society have eroded
the ambiguous usage of the term love and
fine-tune the role lust plays in these love-lust dichotomy.
Follow the writer on Twitter @vilejah
